Such Things

Spelling Bee

2012-01-24T19:23:00.000-06:00

Both of my kids were in the top three in their class when the grades of their past spelling tests were reviewed and averaged out. Because of this, they were both told they would be one of three representing their class in their grade spelling bee. They were given a list of words to practice and told that the spelling bee would be on January 20th.

We practiced and practiced some more.

My Princess was thrilled and told me that she was going to win. She exuded confidence and determination...fitting first born personality.

My Middle Man, on the other hand, dreaded the day, hated to practice, and told me that he knew he wasn't going to win. He was so unsure of himself and lacked the confidence that he could do this...but his Mama knew he could.

One the morning of the 20th, both of my spellers woke and were not in good spirits.

My Princess said that her throat, head, and stomach hurt...all signs that she has strep. I was so concerned for her...not only because she wasn't feeling well, but also because I knew the goal she had set before her. I asked her if she still wanted to go to school. She told me yes. I explained to her (since I knew her bee would be right when she got to school) that when she was finished winning, she could go straight to the nurses office and call me and I would go to the school and get her. She liked the idea so I gave her a dose of Motrin and sent her on her way with a prayer and a hug.

My Middle Man was so scared. His stomach hurt, but for a different reason than my Princess. Before it was time to get coats and shoes on he started to cry and told me he didn't want to be in the spelling bee. I held him and tried to comfort him. Ever since seeing The Help, I have been taking my kids' faces in my hands (or whispering in their ears) and saying, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." It always brings a smile to their faces. So, I took his face in my hands, looked him in the eyes, and told him those words. He giggled a little bit. I told him that I knew he could do this and it didn't matter to me if he won or not, I was so proud of him for making it in the top three of his class. So, I sent him off with a prayer and a hug...and Mama had a bit of a stomach ache herself.

I was watching the clock and at 8:45, I began to pray for them. I was expecting to hear from my Princess anytime after 9:30 or so. The phone didn't ring. At around 11:30, I checked my email and there was an email from Landon's teacher telling me that Landon did so well, she was so proud of him, and he won for his grade level! She said that he actually looked like he enjoyed himself and was excited. Then, a few minutes later, I got a message from another 2nd grade teacher that I know saying that both of my kids were grade level winners. Tears filled my eyes and I whispered prayers of thanks...and Mama was so proud.

Around noon, I got a call from the school office saying that Kaitlyn was running a temp of 100.4 and I needed to come get her. I hurried to pick her up. I got her in the car and she said she needed to go straight to the doctor because she felt so terrible. I was so proud of her strong will and determination to hang in there long enough to win. I asked her if she felt so sick while she was spelling and she said, "I didn't feel any pain while I was spelling. It felt like there were angels all around me," and I knew that it was because of the many people that were praying for her that morning. She also mentioned how big her brain must be...so big that it was getting squished inside her skull...maybe we shouldn't tell her how smart she is anymore. I got her right in to her pediatrician and sure enough, she tested positive for strep. My poor baby.

Landon came home from school later that afternoon and was all smiles. I was so happy for him and hoped that this would help build his confidence. Unlike my Princess, he has no idea just how smart he is...even though we tell him all of the time. He told his story to all of us and said, "I was so scared to start, but then when I was spelling I thought, 'this is pretty easy!'" He makes me laugh.

Tomorrow is the school wide spelling bee and no matter what place they come in I couldn't be any more proud.

I think this calls for more cake pops.

Surrender

2012-01-16T14:09:00.000-06:00

I can still picture it...rusty orange pews, head bowed, eyes closed...an alter call and the song "I Surrender All" sung in it's entirety, sometimes two times over. My lips are moving. I know this song by heart by now. The words meaning almost nothing to me. I've sung them too many times...it's become routine. It's just another thing between me and lunch. Three words and I have not a clue just what I am giving breath to.

Surrender - To yield to any influence, emotion, passion, or power. To give up one's self into the power of another.

Fast forward twenty years. I am running a distance I never thought I would run. I am at mile ten and the song comes on : "And I Surrender all to You, all to You." is playing in my ears. Tears fill my eyes and for once in my life, I get a glimpse of what that means. Pain is rushing through my body, filling up my lungs...my current circumstances flash before me. My husband is unemployed and has been for over a year, benefits have run out, I am consumed with worry, overtaken with the need to control and fix everything...the weight is heavy. And in this moment, at mile ten, all I can think about is surrender...not only to this race I am running, but also to The One that has set this path before me.

This surrender is something I have to fight with every single long run, every single race. When I am fighting with myself in my head...when I want to quit, when my body is done...I have to surrender.

Just as on the road, daily I must surrender to Him. When I am wrestling with my own desires and what I know He wants from or for me...when life has me beat down and tired....when I want to throw in the towel and take the easier path...I must surrender. I must take all that is weighing heavy on me...I must take my need to control....I must take my worry and doubt...just take all of it, and lay it at His feet.

A song, that comes with such negative memories...jaded...is as if I am hearing them with new ears. My prayer is that these three words, "I. Surrender. All." would be ever so powerful in my life. I have felt the weight of life on my shoulders when I shouldn't have been shouldering it in the first place...His yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30)...Surrender All.

Celebration of Days

2012-01-09T09:54:00.000-06:00

I was putting my little men to bed on Saturday night. When I kissed my littlest good night he looked at me and said, "Mama, can tomorrow night we have a celebration?" He cracks me up...he's always looking for a reason to celebrate because whenever there are sweets involved, Collin is there. I asked him what we would be celebrating. He told me that we could celebrate the "many years" that we have all lived...mind you that he's only four. It brought a smile to my face and I began to think of what we could do for our little celebration :

My first attempt at cake pops. They didn't turn out as well as I hoped, but they tasted good. The kids were thrilled with their little bites of cake on a stick.

What's a celebration without pizza, of course. It's usually a $1 Totinos or a $5 hot n ready in this house...but I splurged for our Celebration of Days.

Before anyone could dig in, I handed every one their sign with how many days they have been alive. Dan was a good sport...even though I think this kinds looks like a mug shot.

I feel so blessed to have been given this many days on this earth...and I am so thankful for the reminder that my littlest man has given us, that every day is a celebration.

My Princess with her number that she decorated. Blessed to have been given a daughter here on this earth and for her thoughtfulness, smarts, and creativity she brings to our family.

My Middle Man with his grand total. So thankful for him and his kindness and gentleness that he brings to our family.

And last, but not least (well, I guess his number is the least), my Littlest Man and his "many days". So thankful for the fun and laughter he brings.

LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered--how fleeting my life is. - Psalms 39:4

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T17:59:00.000-06:00

The family picture that was on our Christmas cards this year.

The kids and me on Christmas Day.

Taken Care Of

2011-12-12T13:38:00.001-06:00

I made a mistake...a big mistake
A mistake that I didn't know I made
until I opened an envelope on Friday morning.
I know I paid that.
I just know I did.
But, when I went back and looked
I noticed it:
my big mistake.
I had paid the right amount
to the wrong bank
and it was our mortgage payment.
Yeah, kind of an important one.
I was frantic.
I made a phone call
hoping to get some answers as to where
my money had ended up
and when I could get it back.
I got no where.
I had sent the money to a closed account
and it would take five business days
for any answers.
I was in a state of panic.
Worry.
I hung up the phone
and started to cry.
I rarely cry in front of the kids
and they began to ask questions:
"Why are you crying?"
"What's wrong, Mommy?"
"Are you ok, Mama?"
Without going in to a lot of detail
I told my kids that
I had accidentally
sent some money to
the wrong people,
money that was supposed to pay for our house.
Maybe not the best wording
because my four year old
told me he was sorry I did that
and then asked if I had
sent our money to the "wobbers".
My Middle Man gave me several hugs
and my Princess reminded me that
it would be okay because
"at least you and Daddy both have jobs".
Melt my heart is what my kids did.
It was just the encouragement that I needed.
Pray.Pray.Pray. is what I did.
I wrestled all day
with the same worry
the same doubt
talking to God about it all...
asking Him to take care of it...
asking Him to help me
give up these feelings
of worry and control.
I even asked Him to
fix it all before the 5 days.
I would like to think
that after a whole 22 months
of waiting, of seeing God provide,
of leaning on Him
that I have gotten better
but my initial reaction
still needs some work.
I walked the halls at work that Friday night
with a peace
thanking Him for what He was going to do
not knowing that
He had already done it.
My Father had already fixed it
before I even knew I made the mistake.
That night, my husband emailed me
at work
to tell me
that we had the refund check sitting
in our mailbox
and once again
I laughed at my God
smiled about how good He is to me
and confessed my unbelief
to my Father who cares
so tenderly for me.

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas...

2011-12-10T13:42:00.001-06:00

This year, my husband and kids surprised me with a real tree. The tree is tall...very tall...and I laughed when I walked in the door and saw it. It was the one that my Princess had her heart set on and her Daddy gave in.

My table looks so festive!

Our Countdown to Christmas Clock on display.

Our Countdown to Christmas Kisses that we have done for a few years now...the kids love getting a kiss every morning.

It's Her

2011-11-17T11:00:00.000-06:00

My four year old
all cozied up to her
lifts his head off of her chest
and says, "Gammy, you smell so familiar,"
and I would have to agree
She does smell so familiar
She smells like comfort
she smells like a soft place to land
a conversation in her cozy bed
or a hug in the kitchen
she smells like home
there's none that smell
just. like. her.
a smell that welcomes me
after an extended time apart
a smell that I breathe deeply in
when I say my sad good-byes
hoping it will linger
a smell that is ingrained
and recognizable
it's her smell
and it's so familiar

Wordless Wednesday : They're My Favorites

2011-11-16T05:48:00.001-06:00

Different

2011-11-15T07:50:00.000-06:00

I am in love with this song...and have been listening to it over and over...

Where I Come From

2011-11-14T10:27:00.000-06:00

I come from a warm home filled with laughter

I come from a place where a sister's love is what made my day

I come from days spent outside in the snow, sledding, fort building, and ice skating

I come from warm summer days spent beside our pool or by Higgin's Lake

I come from being surrounded by extended family where the more the merrier

I come from watermelon seed spitting competitions on the Fourth of July

I come from gathering around at Christmas time to listen to my Mom play the piano while my grandma sings Christmas songs

I come from a mother's love and sacrifice to stay at home with us and homeschool her three children

I come from a father's love and dedication to work hard and provide and protect his family

I come from summer camping trips up north and out west

I come from home cooked meals and ice cream as a bedtime snack

I come from a place where my Mom's piano playing is what lulled me to sleep

I come from summer nights spent catching lightening bugs

I come from playing tennis in the parking lot at church with my Grandparents

I come from late night games of sardines with a yard full of friends from youth group

I come from shaving cream fights and bond fires

I come from grandparents who took the time to enrich our lives

I come from a rich family heritage of God fearing ancestors

I come from parent's who made sure we were in church every Sunday

I come from a Father who was on his knees every morning for his family

I come from a Mother who poured her heart out in prayer for her children

I come from a Heavenly Father who saved me at a young age

I come from a Savior who has so tenderly cared for me for the past twenty-nine and a half years

I come from a heart of worship for what He has carried me through

I come from a forgiving Heavenly Father who lavishes me with His Grace and Mercy, which is new every morning

I come from overwhelming thankfulness for everything He has blessed me with....

That's Not a Turkey...

2011-11-07T07:59:00.000-06:00

The kids were both given a family project to do for homework. They both had to take the picture sent home (of a turkey) and dress it up to look like something else.

Landon was given the assignment of dressing his turkey up and then writing a short paragraph entitled, "I'm Not a Turkey!" When I asked him what he wanted to dress his turkey up as, there was no hesitation as he blurted out, "Mario!" So, Landon gave the instructions, I did the cutting, and he put everything where he wanted it.

Kaitlyn wanted to get the fabric, glitter, buttons, and paint out and decorate her turkey that way. As you can plainly see, her turkey came down with the chicken pox (or would they be called the turkey pox?) and is looking quite ill:

Around My Neck

2011-11-05T04:48:00.002-05:00

Today marks five years since my miscarriage
I went to bed on November 4th, 2006 pregnant
and not even twelve hours later I was dealing with
loss

I dealt with a lot of sadness and guilt after
Days of feeling numb
and days where I felt as if
I had no more tears left to cry

Shortly after, I had a dream
She was there
She was beautiful
blond
chubby
round face
and blue eyes
she looked just like Landon
and I knew her
I named her Madelyn
meaning magnificent
and believe God knew just what I needed
to heal

Five years later, I still think about her.
I look around and wonder
I sometimes feel like something is missing
and occasionally Kaitlyn will talk about her

I wanted to do something special to remember
on this five year anniversary
and when I saw it
I knew

It's a nest with three eggs
three eggs for my three gifts here on earth
hanging beside it
is July's birthstone
for my precious gift in heaven

Blessings

2011-11-04T15:42:00.001-05:00

Wordless Wednesday : Pumpkin Pie

2011-11-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

A Little Bit of Catch Up...

2011-11-01T10:15:00.000-05:00

The end of October flew by...I hate when that happens. I guess time flies when you are having fun.

On one of my nights off, we got out Kaitlyn's slurpee machine and made slurpees after dinner. I love this picture because they are all waiting so patiently (yes, they are sitting on the counter)...but notice Dr. Evil in the middle.

This past weekend, my parents came out for a visit. We were all so excited. They haven't been out to visit in over a year so it was a special treat. I even redid the guest room for them. We had a wonderful time. On Saturday, they took us to see Puss in Boots and I highly recommend that movie. It was adorable. The rest of the weekend was spent playing games and soaking up some Gammy and Poppy time. We were so sad to see them go. I was holding Collin by the front door as we waved good bye. As I shut the door, Collin looked at me and said, "I wished they could have stayed for five days. Guess it's back to normal, right Mama?" I hate that good byes are part of our normal, but it does make us cherish the time spent with them.

Landon and Poppy playing "Sorry".

Collin and Gammy playing Memory

Gammy and Kaitlyn doing nails.

Zoey's first birthday was also on Saturday. She's the only one of our animals that we know an exact age. She had a lovely day.

The kids had a great Halloween this year. Kaitlyn chose to be a mouse, Landon chose to be a skeleton, and Collin chose to be Darth Vader. They got a lot of candy and Dan was home early enough from work that night that the kids finished up Trick-or-Treating with him and then we all sat down together and had pizza for dinner.

Can it really be November already?

Carving Time

2011-10-21T10:27:00.000-05:00

We take our pumpkin carving seriously in this house. It's a tradition. It's a day usually marked on the calendar, but this year, Dan was home from work because of the weather so it was a little last minute. It was the perfect night for it last night. We had dinner together as a family and then headed out to the garage to make magic happen. Dan fired up the kerosene heater to keep us all toasty...a little too toasty for my liking...and we went to work.

I scored some nice looking pumpkins at Aldi for $2.49 each. Collin was with me that day and insisted I dig through them to find the smallest one without a stem. I don't know what that was about.

Kaitlyn likes to get dirty...the boys, however, used spoons to scoop the guts out of their pumpkins.

Every year, I help clean the pumpkins out (I love that part), but after that it's all Dan. He is awesome with a knife!

My Middle Man was so happy with how his turned out.

Here's my Littlest Man with his chosen design.

Kaitlyn drew her design herself this year on a dry erase board to give Dan an idea of what she wanted.

And she was so happy with the way Daddy was able to make it work...she is obsessed with mice right now.

My husbands handy work.

Love this girl! This family night was such a blessing and just what this Mama needed!

Bank of America Chicago Marathon

2011-10-12T09:45:00.001-05:00

On Sunday, I completed my third marathon. You can read about it here.

In the life of a carpenter's wife...

2011-09-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

We have gotten a WHOLE LOT of rain the past two days.
I love rain.
I especially love hard rains and big storms.
But, for the past eight and a half years
I only like rain on the weekends.
Yes, a bit picky, I know.
Because when it rains during the week
my husband doesn't work
and when my husband doesn't work
my husband doesn't get paid
Nope, no paid time off in his profession
No work equals no pay.

My husband, my little man, and myself were driving home
from taking the other two to school
My little man says that he wants to build houses when he grows up
to which my husband says
that is not something that he wants to do
not something that he recommends
and I don't think I would recommend it either.

I enjoy a rain day every now and then
I enjoy my husband
climbing back in bed for another hour or so
I enjoy having him around
for our morning routine
I enjoy the time spent together
the family dinner
having him there for our bedtime routine
I love having him around for the day
Two rain days, three rain days, however,
leave me extremely concerned
fretting, worrying, running numbers though my head

and then I remember
how many times we have been here
how many times I have worried
about where the money is going to come from
how many times I have been concerned that a bill
or two, or three was going to have to be set aside
only to have the exact amount covered
some how, He always makes a way

And so, when I felt my husband slide back in bed
next to me this morning
I was worried
and reminded
a soft voice whispered to me
I. will. provide.
and I enjoyed our second rain day.

A Special Polly

2011-09-24T04:36:00.002-05:00

My four year old loves playing Polly Pockets while his sister and brother are at school...and since there is no one left here at home to play with him, I am the chosen one. We have our routine in the morning and he's very patient. He came in the bathroom while I was drying my hair and asked, "Mama, do you want to be Soul Surfer Polly today?"

Introducing Soul Surfer Polly:

Let me just say that she did not lose her arm in a shark attack, but it's the name that my littlest man has given this certain Polly...he loved that movie...and I think he's the cutest for thinking of this.

Fall is in the air...

2011-09-23T16:52:00.000-05:00

Living in the midwest, I have always liked the changes in season...maybe not so much when fall changes to winter...but a part of me longs for the blankets of white stuff, if nothing else, around Christmas time.

I have always said that my favorite season is summer...the warm weather, the sunshine, the pool, the beach...but, especially after this past summer, I have changed my mind.

I have never longed for 60 degree weather more in my life than I did this past July and August. I have discovered that I don't do well in the heat any more and I welcome the cool fall days, the chilly nights, the leaves changing, the trips to the orchard, the sweatshirts...I welcome it all with open arms.

So, happy first day of Fall! Since I have already been frequenting our local orchard since it opened the end of August, and I have already had my windows open for the past two or so weeks, and I am sitting here in my sweatshirt I really don't plan to do anything differently...it's just nice to be able to say goodbye to summer and hello to fall.

What's Best for My Family...

2011-09-22T19:00:00.000-05:00

In a little over a week I will be starting my new hours at work. It was a decision that was bathed in much thought and prayer. I have always held the position that I am my husbands helpmate and the burden to provide for our family should not be his alone.

The big debate between stay-at-home mothers and working mothers, I am afraid, will be something that is always there. It has been quite evident to me lately...not only in talk among women but also in articles that have been shared via facebook.

The other day, I clicked on one of the links to read and was saddened at what I read. Not only was this person using scripture about laying down ones life to describe her role as a stay at home mom but was criticizing mom's who either by choice or by need work outside the home...and other Christian mom's were applauding her article.

Let me start by saying that I was strictly stay-at-home mom for five years and loved the privilege to do so. Then, when my husband lost his job in the summer of 2008, I felt it was my duty to pick up the slack and do all I could to help keep us a float. I said for better or worse, for richer or poorer and I meant it. I started out by working at Walmart (a job I hated with a passion) and then six months later, God answered my prayers and allowed me to score the job that I still have now. The decision for me to work outside the home was not an easy one...not something that I was ready (or really even willing at first) to do. But, it was something that I felt God was leading me to...and how everything was orchestrated proves that God has had His hand in it all.

About six weeks after Dan was taken off the unemployed list and went back to work, I was able to go PRN at my current job and once again enjoy being at home the majority of the time with my kids. It has been a wonderful year (and a few months) home with my kids, but once again, God orchestrated this position opening up for me and it was truly an answer to prayer...He provides once again.

I type all this to say how disappointed I am when mom's use this subject to bash each other. When instead of supporting how hard it is to stay at home 24/7 with your kids or balance life at home with being a working mother, women chose to tear each other down...and using verses from the Bible to make whatever path one is walking seem more noble that another woman's calling. What about examining yourself using an example from the Bible:

Proverbs 31: 10-31
10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Whatever path God has chosen for you, my prayer is that your children rise up and call you blessed and your husband praises you....that the pressures you feel from the Christian women around you (whether they be working or stay-at-home) would fall away...because as long as you are doing what's right by your own family and by your God, who are we to judge.

A Happy Anniversary...

2011-09-02T11:53:00.000-05:00

For two years, I dreaded this day as it approached. It was a day that was flashing bright red on the calendar...a day that I thought I would self destruct if I got out of bed that day...a day that was met with so much anxiety and fear. I dreaded this day when the one year mark hit. I dreaded it even more when we approached two years.

September 2, 2008, was a morning like any other...that is until the phone rang and my husband gave me the news. It was news that I thought if I ever heard, I would crumble to the ground. It almost went that way, but something deep within whispered to me to stand tall.

It was a rough twenty-two months. There were times I felt beat up, hopeless, forgotten...times when I didn't know how I was going to make it through the day. These days had been ordained for me before I was a twinkle in my parents eye. God knew the exact moment, God new my pain, He knew every tear I would cry, He knew every prayer I would whisper through sobs, He knew.

He never forgot about us and knew just who he would send to bless us and when. I still remember the pain of those long 22 months and it still brings tears to my eyes and an ache to my heart...but, I remember even more the food that was brought to my door, the bags and bags of clothes that clothed my children (and still clothe my children) that whole time, the gift cards so we could escape and let go a little, the bills that were paid, the cards that were sent, the miracles of how He provided our every need. I knew my God was worthy of my praise before, I knew He cared so deeply and tenderly for me...but now my hearts swells because I know these truths in an even deeper way now.

Things will never be the way they were before that day in two thousand eight. My husband will never feel secure in a job, he may never make the money he made before, we may never have the benefits we had before, I may never be able to be a stay-at-home mom again. I can sit an focus on that and get discouraged or I can turn that in to praise...that, no, things will never be the same but for different reasons. I will never take my husbands job (or mine for that matter) for granted, I will never go back to the same mindset I had about money or material things, my relationship with God has changed, my marriage has changed, our family has changed, I have changed.

There has been much thought and reflection today...some reading back over past posts...remembering all that God has done for us these past three years. And I must say, today is a very happy anniversary.

My Watermelon Baby

2011-08-31T14:45:00.000-05:00

My watermelon baby keeps getting bigger and bigger. It's uncharted territory for me, having never grown watermelon before. We have a couple more along with this one...and I hope they are delicious because we've been waiting a while.

CRIM # Four

2011-08-30T20:07:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I made a quick trip to Michigan to run my fourth CRIM...and an added bonus was that I got to run along side of my sister.

The week before, at a work party of mine, my husband made a great point. The CRIM is a funny race because as he put it, "my wife is running around the streets of Flint in areas that aren't safe for her on regular days to drive in her car," which is so true. But, even if Flint is ranked up there among cities with the highest murder rate, I still love the CRIM and will race in it every year that I can.

Last year, I ran the race all by myself...and it is something I would rather not do again. It was lonely and messed with my head. This year, it was nice to have my sister by my side to keep me company. I got teary a few times thinking of just how blessed I was to have her with me and to have running be something we can share together.

It was a good run...I always beat myself up at the end thinking of how I could have done better but all I wanted to come out and do this year was to beat last years time...and I did that by 3 minutes. So, CRIM number four I came in with a chip time of 1:45:37. I crossed the finish line, found my sister (who finished a few minutes before me), and gave her a big sweaty hug. Looking forward to CRIM number five!

My sister and me with our finishers medals...

...and just for laughs, here is a picture my mom snapped of us when we didn't know she was taking one. I think it's a little ghetto, a tribute to the city we just ran through. :)

First and Second

2011-08-19T12:08:00.000-05:00

This week, my two older kids went back to school. I was bummed as the day approached, but there were no tears for anyone on start day...not even Mama! Although I miss them like crazy, it's nice to get back to a routine. It's just my littlest man and me for one more year and then he's off to full day school too! Time is just flyin by!

My big First and Second Graders!!

Getting ready to walk in for their first day of school! K is so excited...Landon, well, not so much.

This is what I am stuck at home with. :) Lunch time he exclaims, "Mama, look! I am a turkey!" with his lunch meat over his face.

There's a First Time for Everything

2011-08-11T18:47:00.000-05:00

Collin started throwing up last night. He had his four year old check up scheduled for today, which I almost canceled because I thought it was just the stomach flu. His pediatrician did a strep test in the office and it was instantly positive. My littlest man has strep for the first time...and it has wiped him out! He finally got up to go to the bathroom and was gone a while. I went in to check on him and actually found him on my bed, asleep, curled up next to our cat, Curtis. Later, after he woke up, he said that he liked sleeping next to Curtis...he said Curtis loves him and even put his paws on his forehead to check his fever. Even when he's sick, he is still my crazy little man!

My Six Year Old

2011-08-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

My Middle Man is six...six just seems so much older than five. He's not a little boy anymore.

We celebrated in a special way for my big six year old. He opened a few presents in the morning and then we went a saw Rio in the theater (we don't take them to the theater often, but who can say no to the dollar show?!). After the movie, we headed over to grandma's pool and swam the afternoon away with a few cousins and friends. That evening, Landon chose to go to the Chinese buffet for dinner...he loves it there! Then, we came home and Dan put together his new Mario Racetrack and they played the night away.

Happy Birthday, Landon! You are so precious to Mommy. I still remember holding you on my chest for the first time, my first baby boy. You have always been such a sweet, tender soul. You are so kind and giving...always putting others before yourself. I pray that you would continue to follow Jesus and make Him number one in your life. I hope year number six is a great one for you my Middle Man. I love you beyond words beautiful boy!

My Baby is Four

2011-08-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe that on this day, four years ago, my youngest was born. After a long day of contractions, not knowing if he was coming or not, Dan raced me to the hospital to have him 37 minutes after walking in the door. It was truly an entrance fit for Collin...a night I will never forget.

I will be forever thankful for the events that led up to Collin coming to be. If it was up to my husband and me, we would be a family of four. God had other plans, and through the heartache of a miscarriage, He aligned our desires with His will for our lives.

I cannot begin to imagine life without my youngest. He is my wild and crazy, my talker, the life of the party...but he's also thoughtful and caring, putting others before himself. Everything about him reminds me of my husband, right down to the shape of his head and the unique color of his eyes.

There were many highlights in his third year of life, but I would say the biggest one was him asking Jesus to be his Savior just days before his fourth birthday. What a blessing.

Collin, my baby, my littlest man...I pray that you follow Jesus all the days of your life. I pray that you would not lose your fun loving attitude about life. There are so many things I love about you and who you are...the way your eyes sparkle, that smile of yours, the way you say your "r"s, how you are cautious yet a little daredevil all in one, how fast your legs move when you run, your wild imagination, your giving heart, your love of your hot chocolate first thing in the morning, your obsession with smells, the compliments you give...Momma could go on and on. I am so sad that this is our last year together before you start school, but I guess you can't be my baby forever. I wish I could have frozen you at three. I am thankful for you and pray for many more years with my Zaiah. I love you!

Highlights of our July

2011-08-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

My blessings and me on the Fourth of July

My family

Trip to Chicago

The kids playing in the fountain in Chicago

A weekend spent at my grandparents house in Northern Michigan...tubing with Kait.

My three by the lake

Cuddling with Nana

Driving the boat with Papa

Dan and the kids by the lake

Celebrating my Mom's birthday

Kait and her Gammy

My Dad and the boys in the party hats

My kids and my brother's little girl

Filling

2011-06-28T19:25:00.000-05:00

I had a goal...and I hate when I don't accomplish something I set out to do. My dentist appointment last Tuesday brought much disappointment...I learned that I had my first cavity. The dentist could see how upset I was over his findings. My daughter however blurted out, "That's pretty good, Momma, especially since you hardly ever brush your teeth!" I have come to terms with the fact that my Princess was born without a filter.

So, today I tried to relax in the chair while half my face was numb and my tooth was getting drilled out...if that doesn't scare me in to brushing twice a day, I don't know what will. It was a first. Not a first that I was hoping a waiting for, but it was a first. I didn't make it to my 30th birthday cavity free. I have a horrible headache and my jaw is killing me...but it didn't take away my sweet tooth...and that half can of frosting seemed to make all my troubles seem so far away for the time being.

Graduated

2011-06-16T09:51:00.000-05:00

In the words of my Princess:

"It seems like just yesterday we were going to our first day of school!"

First day of school!

Now look at them:

Last day of first grade for my Princess and last day of kindergarten for my Middle Man!

Note to Self

2011-06-11T10:13:00.001-05:00

Over the past few days, we have watched a few years worth of home videos.

I caught myself going deeper and deeper

in to thought the closer it got to September 2, 2008

the day Dan lost his job, which started the 22 very long months of unemployment.

As I watched us celebrate Collin's first birthday

exactly one month before getting the news,

I just wanted to whisper to the wife and mother I watched there on the TV screen.

I wanted to warn her of what was to come...prepare her in any way that I could.

I wanted to tell her that, yes, incredibly hard days were ahead

but also moments that she would look back and cherish

I wanted to tell her to enjoy the season a little more

laugh a little more

worry less

hope more

I wanted to tell her of the lessons she would learn, the friendships she would make, the person she would become

I wanted to hug her and whisper in her ear that it would all turn out okay

I wanted to tell her of all her Savior would do

how tender He would be to her

But, I really don't think the person that I was looking at would even listen

and so, as I watched the past few years of my life play out on our TV screen

I thought of what a lesson it is to the me right now

that God is the story teller

and even if at times I think

that there must be some mistake

or that I didn't sign up for this one

that His story is beautiful

and even though sometimes life causes unbearable hurt

He's refining and strengthening us for so much more

Rainbow

2011-05-31T18:14:00.000-05:00

We had a birthday party for Kait on Sunday evening. For the first few years of the kids' lives, I was a store bought cake kinda girl. The easier the better. I didn't want the mess or the hassle...just order it and be done with it. After Dan lost his job that changed. I couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a cake, but still wanted their big day to be special.

I was going to go the store bought cake route this year for Kait. One day at work, I started looking around online for ideas and came across the rainbow cake idea. It looked fantastic and I was set on doing one, no matter how hard or how long it took.

I was exhausted on Saturday after coming home from work, but for some reason thought that making a cake would be relaxing...ha, maybe if I was a pro. I won't lie, this cake was difficult...but it happens to be the first layer cake that I have ever made...and it had six layers.

I mixed up the cake from scratch and then separated it in to six individual bowls so I could color each one. I had to bake two layers at a time because I only have two cake pans. Stacking the layers was a little stressful and around the four layer mark I just felt like picking up the whole cake and throwing it against the wall...but luckily my husband came home and talked me down. I mixed up the frosting from scratch, got it all frosted, and was so pleased with the outside...hoping that the inside would be equally beautiful.

It came time for cake on Sunday evening...it was the moment I had been anticipating for around 26 hours at that point. I cut in to it and sliced out the first piece and it was what I was hoping for. It was beautiful and I was happy that my Princess thought her birthday cake was pretty neat.

Layer cakes? Yeah, I think I might be taking up a new hobby.

Celebrating Seven

2011-05-25T20:55:00.000-05:00

A few minutes after waking up it was time to start the birthday festivities...messy hair and all!

Looking forward to watching these with my Princess!

A Penbo...she's been asking for one of these and was so excited that she got it!

Her ATM...she is obsessed with it now and had fun depositing all of her birthday cash.

All ready for school in her princess dress, posing by some of her loot.

Buttery, buttery toast for breakfast...her favorite.

I went up to her school and brought icecream sandwiches for her class...she was loving all the attention.

For dinner, she chose Applebees. The first one we tried had been shut down and so we drove out of our way because she was set on having Applebees for her birthday dinner. She was thrilled when they brought her a big sundae after her meal!

Just so happened that Grandpa was in the area and was able to surprise her and meet us for dinner...it was special for her.

Traditional Blankies

2011-05-24T17:39:00.000-05:00

This morning, K's eyes popped open and she immediately said, "One more day until my birthday! I never thought this day would come. I thought I would be six forever."

Six forever? Now, that might make this mama pretty happy. Seven just sounds a little too old.

So, tonight, as we count down the hours until our Princess turns seven we had our traditional pigs in a blanket for dinner. It's the last meal I ate before she came in to the world.

Tomorrow will be filled with excitement, cards, presents, treats to school, birthday dinner, cupcakes, and looking forward to her birthday party this weekend. In the midst of all the business, I am sure I will be taking a few "time outs" to whisper prayers of thanksgiving for these seven years God has given us with our first born...and praying for blessings upon her life and many more years to enjoy her.

A Lot

2011-05-23T17:49:00.001-05:00

So much has happened since the last time I was on here. I have neglected this space of mine and intend to post more often, I really do. So, for a quick run down to get all caught up:

- Kaitlyn lost her second tooth less than a week after her first. After a traumatic (for Mom) first attempt to get it out in the morning before school, she pulled it out herself upon returning home in the afternoon. Mom slammed the door...a string tied from the knob to her tooth...and the tooth stayed and just caused a big mess of blood. I have vowed never to pull another tooth. That's now Daddy's job...I just take the pictures.

- I had the worst Mother's Day to date...many things factoring in. My husband did his best to make the day special complete with a few surprises and a bunch of tulips, but by that time the damage had been done. The decision was made to ban the holiday from this house...which might have been a bit too drastic.

- Our pup, Zoey, has grown leaps and bounds in these past six months. She is now over 50 pounds and the divider has been taken our of her kennel. She had her first three mile run with me last Thursday. She was a little tired out toward the end, but did great.

- On May 15th, I ran my third half marathon. You can read about it here.

- Dan worked his first Friday in a few months last week. I am so very, very thankful for the steady work that God has provided these past 10.5 months...and for my hard working husband.

- I registered K and L for second and first grade, respectively. The school year is almost over and I will be so happy to have all three home with me for two months. They have both done extremely well in the dual language program.

- My Middle Man surprised me and started reading some pretty big words. A whole new world has opened to him and I am so very proud of him. He attempts to read almost everything now...from street signs to labels...and him sounding out big words to spell is hilarious...too cute! He has done so well for being such a young kindergartner.

- My baby girl turns seven on Wednesday. The boys couldn't wait to have her open her present from them and so they gave it to her early...which might become a tradition for them. They were excited and she was overjoyed with what they got her. (And yes, C is in his underwear...it's hot here and we are not a fan of clothing in this house.)

Next post...of course...my Princess turning seven....

Finally

2011-05-02T09:01:00.000-05:00

The subject of losing baby teeth has become a sore one in our home. Mostly because my Middle Man lost his first tooth...and my Princess, being a whole year older, had not. We kept telling her that her time would come...but we were getting a little worried ourselves.

Her two bottom teeth were getting a little loose and for the past week, all she did was wiggle them to try and loosen them up more. By Thursday night, one of them was ready to come out. She wanted to wait until the next morning to pull it...which I was bummed about because I had to work and knew I would miss it.

On Friday morning, I got an email from her at work saying that she had lost her tooth. Daddy let her chose the method that it would come out...she chose to tie a string around it and then the other end to the door and slam the door. I wish I would have been there, but I am glad that Dan didn't miss this moment.

Dan has become quite the tooth fairy in our house. He has found a way to sneak the money ($2 for their first tooth...25 cents after that) under their pillow while kissing them goodnight. Sneaky, sneaky. Glad he has the part down because on Friday night, I didn't even remember that we needed two singles to give to her.

Both Princess and Middle Man have a few other teeth that should be ready to come out in the next month...can't wait to see them both with their snaggle toothed smile!

Missed Call

2011-04-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

I was born on my Nana's birthday and she has always made sure to tell me that I was the best birthday present she has ever gotten.

As I got older, it was a game between us to see who could call the other one first on our day...it's something that we have continued.

On our day this year, I was the first to make the call. The phone rang and rang and I left her a message to wish her a Happy Birthday, let her know I was thinking about her, and to tell her I love her. I went on with my birthday celebrations as planned.

When I got home later on in the afternoon, the red light on the answering machine was blinking.

When I was little, I loved to hear my Nana sing in church and she would bless us at Christmas time by singing a few carols while my Mom played the piano for her. I will always cherish those memories.

I pressed the button on the answering machine and my Nana started to sing "Happy Birthday". After the first line, I sat down in the chair at the counter, with tears in my eyes and just listened...taking in every note, every word, every minute. And I smiled when, at the end, I could hear my Papa singing along to me in the background.

I have never been so thankful for a missed call. It was truly the best birthday present I got this year.

Good-bye Twenty Eight (hello some number I don't like)...

2011-04-28T05:35:00.007-05:00

This morning I woke up to the first day of my last year in my twenties. Although I would love to either rewind and be 28 again or fast forward and just spend two years in my thirties, I can't not celebrate twenty-nine today just because the number drives me nuts.

Twenty-eight was all I hoped it would be. It was a great year...one that I will never forget. Here are twenty-eight highlights (in no particular order):

- Less than three months in to my 28th year, my husband was blessed with employment after 22 months of being jobless. It was a great belated birthday present...and came at just the right time.

- A few days after turning 28, I completed my very first marathon. I knew it would not be my last and five months later, I completed my second...and shaved some off of my previous time. I am looking forward to running Chicago (my third marathon!!!) in October!

- I was privileged to be able to run a half marathon with my sister and ran a personal best.

- I was blessed to celebrate another year with my princess...she turned six and finished kindergarten with in a week of eachother.

- planted my first (very) mini garden...and loved being able to eat a fresh cucumber almost every day all summer long.

- I was reminded in month 21 of our employment that God remembers me and was called to remember how far He carried us.

- Ran a race in the mud and found out that I like getting dirty.

- I spent a wonderful week in Michigan with my family and took my kids up to the lake I spent summers at when I was a kid.

- My youngest turned three...and it was a little sad for me. My baby is growing up.

- My princess got her ears pierced...and I was lucky enough to be the one holding her hand.

- My middle man turned five in true Mario party style... it made my day to see the look in his eyes.

- I was able to go to PRN at work...and I love being able to work four times a month (or more if I chose). Dinner time with my family again!!

- I ran my third CRIM...alone...and man was it lonely...and I have demanded a rematch.

- I became the Mom to a first grader and a kindergartner...and it took some getting used to.

- Friendships grew deeper...and I am so thankful for each one of my girls I call "friend".

- Strep became all too common in our house.

- It's the year I stopped believing the lies and found out who I really am.

- I fell in love with my bread machine.

- Was snowed in...but managed to make it out to the gym in the Great Blizzard of 2011.

- Found out how wonderful eye liner is (thank you, Saira)

- Celebrated 8 years of marriage...and, as I watched marriages crumble all around, it sparked something new inside of me. We spent two of the toughest years clinging to eachother because we had to...we have weathered the storm and I want to sit beside him, hold his hand, and talk and laugh through this calm we are experiencing.

- Once again, made it through another year with not a single cavity...and never had a ticket either!

- Watched my little girl be wheeled in to surgery and became even more thankful for all of my children's health.

- did something I never thought I would do : agreed to get a puppy...and fell in love with her...well, fell in to like with her...no dog can take the place of my Macy girl.

- Went indoor rock climbing and decided that we need a date night every once in a while that is out of the norm.

- kicked my vacuuming habit and no longer vacuum at least once a day.

and because I am drawing a blank I have to dig deep here:

- Did not accomplish a goal of mine and cannot play one single song on my guitar...maybe 29 will be the year.

- Have felt more blessed this year than any other year in my whole 29 years on this earth.

Oh, twenty-nine...how I hate that number...but love that I have been given another year of life. Here's to twenty-nine...may it be even better than twenty-eight!

Easter in Michigan

2011-04-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

Coloring Easter eggs with the cousins!!

Easter morning...and their Easter loot

Poppy telling the Easter Story

All dressed up (and missing two cousins)

My three cuties with their Great Grandparents...blessed!

These two could pass as brothers.

My Calist and me...loved the time spent with her!

Three Decades

2011-04-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

Today is my husband's 30th birthday. Every birthday of his that we celebrate together, I am more and more thankful for just what this day means. I have been blessed to spend nine birthdays with this man of mine and pray that God gives many more.

Happy Birthday, Dan. You have blessed my life.

My Future Garden...

2011-04-13T08:47:00.000-05:00

Cucumbers

Watermelon

Tomatoes

And yet to be seen above the soil: Green Peppers

Slightly Traumatic

2011-03-22T12:06:00.000-05:00

I don't quite remember when I noticed my middle man's big tooth coming up right behind his baby tooth, but it's been at least a month. His baby tooth was a little bit loose...not enough to come out. We have been telling him to wiggle it every day, a few times a day. This morning, my husband took him in to our bathroom. I didn't think it was ready to come out yet. I liked to let my teeth get as loose as possible so that I could almost spin it completely around with my tongue...Landon's tooth wasn't even close.

After a botched attempt, number two was successful. There were tears and a little bit of pain, but the tooth fairy will make her appearance for the first time tonight....Kait has yet to lose a tooth...and is not even close.

Landon was excited to head off to school this morning to tell his teacher and all of his friends about the new hole in the front of his mouth. And before he headed out the door, he asked to call his Poppy to tell him the news.

Traumatized, he wouldn't stop crying at first. He wouldn't even take the paper towel off to show me.

With tears still in his eyes, he agrees to remove the paper towel and open his mouth just enough so I could get my first look.

After eating a popsicle for breakfast, everything in his world was right again...and he was happy about his missing tooth.

March 22nd, 2003 to March 22nd, 2011

2011-03-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

Then

Now

Today, we celebrate eight years of marriage. Looking forward to many, many more with this man of mine. I am thankful, so thankful, and am in awe of this precious gift of eachother that we have been given.

Happy Anniversary, Dan...the rest is in your cards. :-)

Fun Filled Weekend

2011-03-21T11:22:00.000-05:00

My little family and I had a blast this past weekend. My husband and I have been making it a point to have at least one date night a month. It has been great to spend that time together. On Saturday evening, we spent our night out with Dan's brother and his wife. We wanted to do something out of the ordinary. I have been wanting to go to a nearby indoor rock climbing place forever. When my sister-in-law and I agreed on it we decided we were going to keep it a secret from our husbands and surprise them with it. The beans were spilled in the car, but we lasted longer than I thought we would. We all really enjoyed ourselves!

The next day, we headed out to Medieval Times with Kaitlyn's girl scout troop. We got an awesome deal on the tickets that we couldn't pass up. Even though Dan and I had already been and could really care less about going again, it was so neat to watch the kids enjoy themselves so much. The boys were absolutely glued to the action, Kaitlyn liked sitting beside a friend...and Dan and I just went for the food.

Giving it a shot...I am two inches off the ground. We were only supposed to be moving horizontally, not vertically yet.

Dan was a natural. I was so impressed with his skills...I nicknamed him my tree frog...it was as if he had suctions on his feet and hands.

Up I go...what a blast!

The four of us after an hour of fun!

Daddy and Kait

My boys and me

The kids after a great show

Laundry Room

2011-03-16T14:56:00.000-05:00

If you know me in real life, you know that I had a pretty tough week last week. Several different things hit me all at once and I was left feeling as if I had been run over by a truck...maybe not so much physically, but definitely emotionally.

I wouldn't really use emotional to define the person that I am. Dan comes home with stories about co-worker's wives and what they guys at work deal with and I don't even compare...which I think I should get some sort of compensation for...I kid, I kid.

I have talked to my wonderful man several times over our almost 8 years of married life together about the way dirt clothes should be put in the hamper...to make my duties easier. I can usually look past the forgetfulness and whistle while I work, brush it off, and forget about it. This past week, not so much.

When it came time to do a load of laundry for the day, I began carrying it out to the washing machine. I placed item after item into the soapy water, and then I came to a pair of pants...inside of another pair of pants...and the socks still attached inside of both the legs. I knew deep breathing would not work. All of my sanity was out the window. I slammed the laundry room door and that is when I let out a scream (as a 3 year old would)...mind you, all of my children were playing nicely in the playroom and they were oblivious to what was going on...I would never act like a child in front of my kids...well, almost never.

With my husband on the other side of the door laughing and trying his hardest to compose himself and me in the laundry room sobbing with the door closed, I am sure it was quite the sight. He waited a minute and then opened the door, with a big smile on his face, and just opened his arms. And that is all it took, just him opening his arms, to make me feel like everything was not so out of control and it was all going to be okay.

My Dad always said that I would need to find me a patient man...and it's a good thing God took care of that.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

2011-03-10T18:59:00.000-06:00

I keep thinking how I must look for this book at the library the next time I am there. My princess got in to the habit of faking sick to stay home...or making several trips throughout the day to the nurses office to try and get out of class. It became a real problem...a problem that has been remedied...but apparently picked up by my middle man.

On Monday, I got a call from the nurse at school (whom I know through work) saying that Landon did not look good at all. He wasn't running a fever, but since he looked so terrible, she needed me to come and get him. I jumped in the van and sped over to get my sick baby, who apparently looked so terribly ill. I went inside and told the office who I was there for. Minutes later, he walked out and I instantly knew the look on his face...he was faking it. His eyes were barely open and he was doing something very weird with his mouth. I was about to shout, "You guys have been punked!" but decided that since there were only two more hours in the school day, I was going to act like the compassionate mother and take my son (who looked to be near death) home.

Once getting out the front doors to the school, his eyes instantly became normal size and he suddenly began to talk 100 miles an hour. He was healed...and wanted to play the computer when we got home. I explained on the way back home that he could not play the computer and he was to lay on the couch when we got home because he was so sick. I gave him some tylenol upon returning home and had him lay on the couch. I asked him 15 minutes later how he was feeling. He waited a minute and said, "If I tell you that I am feeling so good, do I have to go back to school?" Busted.

I sat my son down and explained to him the importance of not only being at school, but also telling the truth. I told him that I did not want another call home from him unless he was throwing up or had a fever or there would be serious consequences. No more faking sick.

Well, Wednesday rolls around. I drop him off at school and he seems just fine to me. About three hours later, my phone rings. The school name pops up on my caller ID and I can feel the anger build. I answer the phone and the nurse says that she has Landon in the office and he looks terrible. She also, told me that he was very reluctant to come and see her and was a little hesitant to walk in...his teacher made him go down. Once down there, they took his temp and it was 101.7 and I needed to come and pick him up. I was relieved that he wasn't faking it (felt bad that he was sick) and rushed to get him.

Later on that day, he looked up at me and said, "Momma, it's very hard to stay at school when you are feeling so sick especially when your mommy doesn't want you at home." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at what he just said...feel terrible or relieved that he got what I was telling him.

My middle man has strep for the fourth time...and I am still going to look for that book.

For Better or Worse

2011-03-08T10:19:00.000-06:00

In two weeks, Dan and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage and it's got me thinking a whole lot about marriage...my marriage.

Almost eight years ago, I stood at the most beautiful wedding, in front of my now father-in-law (who married us), with a whole bunch of people watching and said vows to my now husband that went something like this:

"I, Bethany, take you, Daniel, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

I have thought about these words many, many times...especially during the few times that I wanted to throw in the towel. When I said these words, did I even realize what I was saying? Was my mind so preoccupied that I even heard what was coming out of my mouth? Did I think about the depth of these vows? Did I think about to whom I was saying them?

If I am really honest, I didn't have a clue. I had heard all of my life that marriage is forever. I watched my parents model a wonderful relationship and they really made it look quite easy. Married was something I knew I was going to be someday...and it would be wonderful...all of it.

I often joke that if it wasn't for kids, money, bills...and I am sure a few other things...we would have the perfect marriage. But, life happens...stress happens...selfishness happens...sin happens...and you both are left staring at a wedding photo wondering who the heck those people were and what the heck were they thinking.

I have loved my husband through better and I have clung to him through the worse until I didn't think I could hang on any longer. I have walked with him through the richer and crawled through the land of the poorer. We have been through stuff. Maybe not as big and some others, but we have had our share in the past eight years. Have I enjoyed every single day? No. Have I been thankful for the worse and the poorer. No. Have I wanted to pack my bags and say to heck with it? I sure have.

The truth is, we all have a 50/50 shot at making it...that's what the statistics say...whether we are Christians or not. If my husband and I are not committed...if we are not making time for eachother...if we do not chose to "leave our father and mother"...if God is not our very center...you pretty much have a sunk ship...or you'll need no help sinking it yourself.

In a card I gave Dan on the morning of our wedding day, I wrote the words of Ruth : "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried." I was moving to a different state, away from my family, leaving my friends, my job, everything I knew...but I wanted to let him know that I was committed and I would follow him.

It is really by the grace of God that Dan and I have made it through the past two years...there's been so much...so much that I won't even go in to...maybe another time...but, I have a renewed commitment to my husband...a renewed commitment to making the time for him...a renewed commitment to respecting the man that God has given me...a renewed commitment to putting in the hard work.

Last night, as Dan and I were kissing in the kitchen, it was so nice to hear Kaitlyn in the background say something sarcastic about love. I don't want them to think our marriage is perfect or that it's not a lot of hard work. But, I do want to be secure in knowing that Mommy and Daddy are together forever...and we leave them at least once a month for a date and come home a lot happier!

Post Op...

2011-03-08T06:34:00.000-06:00

Two weeks, already?!

My little girl had her post op appointment with the ENT that did her surgery yesterday. Everything went just fine. He said that she still has some healing to do, but things look pretty good back there. They were shocked that she came in heavier than right before she went in to surgery. For the past week or so she has been eating us out of house and home. On Friday night, we had the cousins over for a sleepover and I ordered pizza. She can't resist pizza and ended up scarfing down five pieces. I was so concerned about her the first few days after surgery...especially after she stepped on the scale and was down four pounds. It's nice to see that those four pounds (and a few ounces more) came right back on...and we don't have to safety pin her pants up nearly as tight. On a sad note, her holes in her ears closed up. I don't know what I was thinking, but I let her go a little over a week without them in after her surgery (I took them out the night before...first time since she got them pierced). I tried to get them back in but her ear started to bleed and I couldn't even get them through to the back without causing her more pain than when she got them done. She looked so cute with earrings...and now she doesn't want them anymore. I am hoping she will change her mind.

My Sweet Girl's Surgery

2011-02-21T08:28:00.000-06:00

The night before her surgery, Kait was very nervous. She actually asked her Daddy if it's okay to be afraid to die. Dan and her sat on the couch for a little bit and read her Bible. I had to capture the sweet moment.

Kaitlyn had a good night sleep. She jumped in the tub when she got up in the morning and we got her all fresh and clean for her big day. She chose to take her unicorn and princess blanket along with her to the hospital. On the drive there, she said that her belly felt very nervous...and so did Mommy's.

Once we arrived at 7 AM, the took us right back and we got her all gowned up and ready to go. She liked her hospital gown with the stars on it. Once the nurse checked her all out and asked a bunch of questions, she let Kaitlyn pick a blanket out to keep for herself. She thought that was great.

The anesthesiologist came in and gave her something to calm her nerves about a half hour before they took her away. I could tell that it made a difference. She really liked the special hat they gave her and actually has put it on here at home a few times...until Zoey got a hold of it this morning and ripped it up. :-(

Dan's Mom was able to come up and be with us. It was so nice to have her there...especially when they wheeled Kaitlyn away. Having her company was great. It kept my mind off of things and before I knew it, they were calling me back to talk with the doctor after her surgery was done. He said that her tonsils and adenoids were quite large and he would be very surprised if she was able to breathe out of her nose for any period of time. One nurse came out of the recovery room to tell me what a sweet girl she was...how she was so polite and cute. They had a little fun with her unicorn and dressed it up while Kait was in surgery.

I shot this right after Kaitlyn was wheeled out of the recovery room. She had tears running down her cheeks and was in so much pain. It was hard to see her like that...I just wanted to take her place.

After she woke up a bit and got some Tylenol for pain, she kept asking in a whisper to go home and lay on the couch. She did super and we were out of there three hours after her surgery started.

On the way home, we made a little stop at Burger King for a cherry icee. She was very talkative and I thought that recovery for her would be a breeze. She was rating her pain as a one or a two and said she felt good. Once we got home, she downed two bowls of applesauce and a couple of popsicles.

Around dinner time is when things went down hill. She threw up, which had her in incredible pain. It was the most helpless I have ever felt. I sat there and held her hair while I prayed for her. After she was done, she was a mess. She was in pain and couldn't swallow or talk. We got her medicine down and then she fell asleep. I slept next to her and set an alarm so we could stay on top of the pain and not miss a dose of meds. It was a long night because she was so uncomfortable. I questioned our decision to have her tonsils out and wondered if we did the right thing for her.

Saturday afternoon, it was nice out, so I bundled her up, put a mask on her, and took her in the jogger for a stroll around the block. She loved being outside. She still could not talk and went through an entire notebook that day writing us notes to tell us what she wanted and how she was feeling...along with a few random facts that made Dan and I smile. She seemed to be doing a bit better and I was praying she would get some much needed rest that night. I made a bed up in our room on our floor because she didn't want to be away from us. She slept like a rock and I felt like she was on the up swing.

Sunday morning, she woke up and wanted her cousin to come for a visit. So, I brought her home with me after church and it's just what Kaitlyn needed. She perked right up and we played games and did nails. She even wanted to come with me when we took her cousin back home. The day wore her out and she was zonked out within a half hour of being home. I woke her for her meds and she went back to sleep until this morning.

She is doing pretty good today. She has talked a couple of times and she has gotten more liquids in her belly than she has since she threw up on Friday night. She saw a McDonald's commercial and her eyes lit up. She wrote that she could probably eat McDonald's right now...applesauce, jello, and ice cream will have to do for now.

She will be off of school for pretty much the rest of the week. We are going to get her all cleaned up and freshened up today. She is also begging to go visit grandpa...she is missing him.

Tomorrow's the day...we hope...

2011-02-17T09:48:00.001-06:00

Tonight, we will say our little goodbyes to K's tonsils. I will get out my video camera (per her request) and she will open her mouth as wide as she can and I will video them for a few seconds so that she will always remember what they looked like back there. I will then get out my camera (per her request) and take a few pictures of her with her tonsils.

We both might not sleep too well tonight.

The cameras will be waiting on the counter for when we wake up so we can document tomorrow (per her request)...what pj's she wears to the hospital, what blanket she takes, the stuffed animal she chooses to go with her to surgery, and her pillow pet that will keep her company. There will be many "I love you's" said.

I will reach back and hold her little hand as we drive to the hospital and talk about whatever she wants.

I will have her little hand in my one hand...and all her stuff in the other...when we walk in to the hospital's big front door.

We will make our way to the surgery department and she will probably talk about the butterflies dancing around in her tummy.

They will call her name and we will walk back and get her gowned up and settled in to the bed before the nurse comes in to check her out....at least this is what happened last time...and it's as far as we got.

Tomorrow, I am hoping my princess wakes up healthy after a peaceful nights rest. I am hoping surgery is a go and we can say goodbye to those pesky tonsils of hers for good. I prepared myself last time only to know that I would have to prepare myself all over again...that we would have to set another date and wait a little longer. I am tired of seeing my princess sick and they need to come out...preferably tomorrow.

So, here's to (hopefully) a good to go surgery tomorrow and eating ice cream and milk shakes all weekend long!

Nine Years Ago

2011-02-15T05:57:00.000-06:00

I have written about this day before here and here. It's a day way back in 2002 that I will never forget. Every February 15th that passes is a reminder of how my life changed that day...with a last minute decision to buy a plane ticket only weeks before, to open my heart to possibilities, and to let go of any fear and just go for it.

That day still runs through my head...the weekend, I can still remember clearly. A lot has changed and happened in these past nine years...but somethings remain the same: I still get weak in the knees when I look at him across a crowded room, he can still make me laugh just like he did on our first weekend together, and when we are apart my heart aches to be with him.

Today is not just any other day in my world. It's a day that changed my life forever and until my last breath, it will be a day that I celebrate and thank God for.

Love and Stuff

2011-02-14T17:25:00.000-06:00

Aren't they loveable!

gifts from my love

Today, I feel especially loved. My kids were on their best behavior this morning...and looking oh so cute in their festive shirts that Gammy sent them. The weather was gorgeous...like a kiss from heaven. Two packages arrived from my man reminding me of his thoughtfulness...a dozen roses and a box of chocolate covered strawberries. My littlest man made sure to tell me several times today that he thinks I am beautiful. And finally, my middle man told me that he is having Daddy get me an Usher poster because he knows how much I liked watching Usher and Justin Bieber perform last night on TV. Apparently, I am supposed to hang in on my wall in my room...I am pretty sure Daddy is not going to go for that...but, my middle man's heart was in the right place...and he gave me his one and only butterfinger and that is way better than an Usher poster. Happy Valentine's Day...I hope you feel loved today.

My Story of Provision

2011-02-08T09:35:00.000-06:00

I have been a carpenter's wife for almost eight years now, and you never quite get used to the ups and downs of winter as far as how unpredictable work is. I am beyond thankful for how God has continued to provide for our family over the years and each time refreshes and renews my confidence in that He is my ultimate provider.

Because of The Great Blizzard of 2011, Dan worked one and a half days last week. I was fretting and thinking of the very small upcoming check. When Dan was unemployed for those long twenty-two months, I got into the habit of turning my worry in to prayers of thanksgiving and asking Him for what I need. What seems impossible in my mind, is not the case with God...and sometimes that is easily forgotten.

So, after learning that he would be off work the rest of the week I began to pray that God would provide in whatever way. I went in to work on Saturday and when I had half of my shift under my belt, it happened : one of the machines in the lab broke. For some reason, we don't have 24/7 service on that machine and service would not be able to be called until Monday. What that means is that we would now have to call a courier for every single CBC that came in to the lab. Guess who is on that courier list? My husband and myself. So, from Saturday afternoon to Monday morning we were able to make enough money to cover 4 days worth of pay for Dan...making up the difference from the week of the blizzard.

Every time I think of how everything unfolded, I am thankful beyond words and my heart swells to know how tenderly He cares for us...giving us exactly what we need. I can't help but think that machine was broken over the weekend just for us.

The Blizzard of 2011

2011-02-03T08:08:00.000-06:00

We were hit Tuesday evening in to Wednesday with The Blizzard of 2011...it will always be something I think back to and remember fondly. Dan was fortunate enough to be let out of work early, the kids were released early from school, and I got a call from work telling me to not attempt to come in. So, my hubby made a wonderful chicken dinner, we signed up for a free month of netflix on our Wii (yep, you can do that!), and we all slept cozy in our beds as the snow continued to fall and be blown all around. It was wonderful!

We woke up on Wednesday morning and we all were excited to get a peek at just what had happened over night...it was like Christmas. We were shocked to find that both of our doors, front and back, were snowed shut with drifts in front of them that we about five feet tall. Luckily we could get out of our garage door and make our way to dig out.

I love to shovel and volunteered to be the one to dig out so that our doors would be able to be opened and the dogs could go outside. It was the hardest shoveling I have ever done...and my shoulders are sore from today. My husband thought I was a rock star though.

The kids were begging to go out all morning. So after lunch, when the wind finally died down a bit, Dan took all three kids out to play in the snow. It was great to watch from my warm house. I had to laugh at my youngest who kept getting stuck and tipping over.

Around one o'clock, I started getting stir crazy and needed my gym fix. So, I suited up, grabbed my camera, and headed out to survey the area and make my way to the gym. The roads weren't too bad and I made the mile trek safely. I had a great four mile run. The plow guys did a great job!

looking at our front door...a five foot drift in my way.

Me clearing off our deck...hard work.

Kait playing in the front before I broke the rest of the way through the drift.

Clearing off the front walk.

Our little snow pup...whose doubled in size the month that we've had her.

Aaah, the gym!

Piles of snow in the parking lot...lots of work to do.

My man getting the roast ready for the oven.

The kids and my hubby playing outside.

My littlest man, tipped over again.

After clearing off one side of the roof, my man jumped off in to the big snow drift...kid at heart.

That's Dan in there...the snow falling off the roof after a couple of pushes.

Icing on the cake: We had a delicious dinner with our favorite neighbors, Dan was told he would have another day off, and the kids' school was cancelled. So, I am off to enjoy a bacon and egg breakfast made by my husband. I love when he's home...he feeds us well.

A Better Day

2011-01-25T10:09:00.001-06:00

My middle man ended up coming home early from school with a tummy ache yesterday. Within one hour, he was in the bathroom puking all over my shower curtain, the back of the toilet, and on the floor. He couldn't stop apologizing. He's such a sweetie even when he is sick.

So, with Dan at work, I was the one on throw up duty yesterday day and I was happy to be there with my baby. I handled it pretty well and didn't heave once while wiping up the puke or rubbing his little back while he threw up. I could possibly be getting better at this. He threw up six times in five hours and then everything stopped...I was thankful that he was able to eat a slice of toast before bed and keep some juice and water down.

This morning, he was feeling better but was still having some "back door" issues so I called him in to school. We still had to take my princess (who, may I add, holds the record so far this year for being the healthiest one of the bunch).

After dropping her off, I explained to Landon that the ride home is when I pray for both him and his sister and for their day at school. He asked me to pray out loud and so I did. After, he told me that he also knew that I prayed for him last night at dinner when he was sick...he said he was secretly listening in from the living room couch. Then he said something that caused my heart to swell and my eyes to tear up: "Mommy after you prayed for me I quietly prayed for you that you would have a better day tomorrow."

Goings On

2011-01-23T18:31:00.001-06:00

Here's a bullet update:

My sister-in-law recently gave me her bread machine and I. AM. IN. LOVE. Seriously! After using it for the first time, it left me thinking, "Why on earth haven't I had one of these sooner?!" Well, now I know why : They are dangerous with a capital D. I think I am going to turn in to a loaf of bread. Mmmm, delicious! I have made about six loaves of bread and a batch of bagels. I think I am going to attempt cinnamon rolls later on this week.

Yesterday I took my princess for her very first haircut at a salon...if you consider the place inside of Wal-mart a salon. Gammy did her very first haircut and I have done every one since then. She was pretty excited when I picked her up on my way home from work and took her. I looked at her sitting in the chair at the (so called) salon and I flashed forward in my head a dozen or so years...and I thought to myself, "Cherish your little girl, cherish her." She will be getting her hair done for her wedding day in the blink of an eye. But for now, she has a cute new do that she loves.

Landon came down with his third case of strep in the past four months. We are on a roll here, I know. My first two children are walking strep monsters this winter it seems. This time for him wasn't as bad as the past two. He didn't run a fever and he didn't throw up. He just said he felt like bees were stinging him in the back of his mouth. He was a trooper...and was pretty happy to be able to miss a day of school.

Collin, who has managed to remain strep free his whole life, came down with the stomach bug over the weekend. He started throwing up at 11PM on Friday night and it continued every 30-60 minutes until Saturday morning at 8:30AM. I can't decided if it was lucky for me or not, but I had to work on Saturday morning so Dan was on throw up duty for the night. We were both walking zombies on Saturday. We made it through the day though...and I have never been so thankful for a nights sleep...well, maybe, but it's been a very long time.

And, that about does it. Just hoping for a healthy week this week...

Prayers

2011-01-18T08:43:00.003-06:00

Go to her blog and pray for her and her family.

My Dreamer

2011-01-17T09:18:00.001-06:00

My Princess is a dreamer...and I really don't think she gets that from me. I am a more realist kinda girl...in almost everything...I have my moments though.

She started girl scouts in the fall and the time has come for the annual cookie sale. We were talking about goals. I explained what a goal was and asked her what her goal was as far as how many boxes of cookies she would like to sell. She quickly responded, "My goal is 1000 boxes!" Yep, she's a dreamer alright! I told her that maybe she should be more realistic about her goal and set it a little lower so it could actually be something she could possibly reach. She sat and thought and then said, "Okay 300 boxes!" I smiled.

As of yesterday though, she has sold seventy-eight boxes of girl scout cookies. As the end nears, the Momma in me will have to resist (maybe unsuccessfully) making it an even one hundred.

Review

2011-01-13T16:16:00.000-06:00

I had my annual review at work yesterday. I was pleased. It made me feel very competent in my position and it was nice to hear how much my boss appreciates me and how highly he thinks of me and the work that I do. It was a great way to start my work day...and it got me thinking...

Some of you may already do this in your homes. How great it would be to do an annual, semi-annual, or even monthly review in our marriages, in our parenting, in our homes? Would it make me think twice before disrespecting my husband? Would it make a difference in the way I parent my children...the quality time I spend with them? Would it make a difference in how efficiently my home is run? I am sure it would...and I am also positive that kind words from members of the household...words of appreciation...would do wonders in how often my family and myself are doing something with a cheerful heart.

How ever often, I think it might be something to think about incorporating some sort of "review" in our house. Too often, we take each other for granted around here. Our household duties are just expected as part of the husband's, or the wife's, or the children's job description.

I think it's time for a Brady Family meeting here.

Wordless Wednesday : Introducing

2011-01-12T06:12:00.002-06:00

Build Em Up!

2011-01-11T10:16:00.000-06:00

Over Christmas break, the boys discovered Legos...and love them! They both got two sets for Christmas and while all the pieces have gotten mixed up (easily fixed) they have enjoyed playing. They are brought out at least once a day and played with for hours at a time. In fact, that's just what my littlest man is doing as I type. Build away boys, build away.

Holidays to the Present...

2011-01-10T10:26:00.000-06:00

- Our Christmas was wonderful. We got to spend it in Michigan with my side of the family. It was filled with fun, food, and lots of laughs. It was great to see everyone, watch my kids play with my siblings' kids, and laugh at each other while we played Just Dance 2. It just seems to keep getting harder when we have to say our goodbyes and take our usual route home. My middle man has the most difficult time saying good bye. This time, he did the most heart breaking sob down my parents' long driveway...which makes me only cry harder. It's always sad to me when we pass by the welcome center and the Welcome to Michigan sign on the other side of the highway. It's then that I truly feel disconnected from my family...it always gets me a little teary. Can't wait to get back to Pure Michigan!

- It was so nice having the kids home with me for two weeks. We spent a lot of time just being lazy. The time flew by so fast and before I knew it, I found myself with an ache in my heart driving away from the drop off line watching my older two kids in my rear view mirror. They are happy to be back in to our usual routine...and my little man is happy to have Momma all to himself.

- I did some much needed painting in my kitchen and dining room...and got something new to hang on my dining room wall. Because I love painting so much (and I am not being sarcastic) I couldn't stop myself and continued on down the stairs. It gave everything a fresh look...and it was nice and relaxing for me. Best part is that it was all leftover paint from the kids' rooms (we keep it pretty neutral around here) and so it didn't cost me a penny.

- This past weekend, Dan and I got some alone time with our princess. The boys went to their cousins' house for a sleepover and she chose to stay with us. We went out to eat, just the three of us, and then she wanted to head over to Borders to pick out another chapter book of her own. I thought we would be there forever (it was a bit overwhelming for her) but she finally decided on The Little Princess. She's a great little reader and I am happy to cultivate a love of reading in her. She has been reading in her room every chance she gets.

All in a days work...

2011-01-04T08:54:00.000-06:00

I have a pretty cushy schedule. A month after Dan started his new job, I was able to cut back hours at work. I have four set days a month that I work (three Saturdays and usually a Monday). I pick and chose if I want to work any other hours for the month. I am so thankful for my job.

Yesterday, I would have rather stayed home. It was the kids first day back to school and I was feeling really down about that and a few other things...not to mention the laundry that is taking over all of our laundry baskets. So, I tried to find coverage so that I could take the day off. It looked promising, but in the end, I walked through the door of the hospital at 1:25 and started my shift.

I believe there is a reason and a plan behind everything. God knew that I didn't want to work, but He knew what I needed even more. I was supposed to be at work yesterday...it just took a few hours for me to realize that.

It wasn't really until about four hours in to a very busy shift that I began to put it all together. I saw a lot of my old patients last night...patients that I haven't seen in about six or so months...people who I know their story and have prayed for...a double lung transplant, a colon cancer patient, a breast cancer survivor, another cancer patient all of which have made me so very thankful for everything that I have and all of which I truly admire their strength and fight.

It was an encouragement and a blessing to be at work yesterday...and someone was even kind enough to treat me to dinner. Not bad, not bad at all.

All Things New

2011-01-01T17:24:00.000-06:00

A New Year
A Time of reflection
Thankfulness floods over me
because of all He has brought us through
over the past year
His faithfulness
His provision
His love
His mercy
His grace
His reminder
at the stroke of midnight
that the old things are gone
and the new has come
He has made all things new
We put 2010 behind us
but not without
remembering
and meeting a new year
with anticipation.

Merry Christmas...

2010-12-19T10:06:00.000-06:00

...from our house to yours!

Here's an out take that I couldn't resist posting. We tried getting our beloved Curtis and Macy in the picture too...Curtis wasn't having it.

Postponed

2010-12-17T10:14:00.000-06:00

My princess was up this morning at quarter to three with an earache. I took her temp and she wasn't running one. She's been dealing with one sickness after another. I went back and forth with myself in my head about calling the hospital and telling them she wouldn't be in today. I ended up deciding to go ahead and take her in just in case. The end result: We are home, my princess is still sleeping, and she still has those pesky tonsils of hers. Yep, surgery was a no go today. They sent us home with instructions for her to get better and reschedule. I am all for the get better part. Not too thrilled about the whole reschedule...preparation and waiting. I had a good cry when we got back out to the parking lot and then again after I got my princess resting comfortably in her bed. I know it's God's perfect timing...and today just wasn't the day. This Mommy just wants her baby to finally feel good again.

"Sergaree"

2010-12-16T11:41:00.000-06:00

My princess is a planner, list maker just like myself. So, when I came across this bag sitting by her bedroom door, it made me proud. Tomorrow is her big day...she is saying "good-bye" forever to her tonsils. Little by little, I have been giving her a heads up on what to expect and what is going to happen so she is a bit more comfortable and not so nervous that day. Well, I told her on Tuesday, after talking to the surgery department, about a list of things she could bring. She was very excited to find that she can come in her pj's, bring a stuffed animal, and pack her own special blanket...anything to help her through. She found a gift bag, labeled it, and began to check things off her list. She seems to be doing a lot better with the idea....and Mommy just can't wait until it's all over.

Gifts in a Jar

2010-12-15T20:02:00.001-06:00

This year, the kids decided they wanted to make their teachers something for Christmas. Last year we made Kait's teacher a gift in a mug. This year, we went bigger and used a jar. It was a lot of fun and made me wonder why we don't give these more often to more people. I got the quart jars on clearance at Walmart and then just had to buy the M&M's and ribbon...we had the rest on hand. Fun, fun!

Wordless Wednesday - Our Tree

2010-12-08T06:58:00.002-06:00

Sweet Traditions

2010-12-06T17:37:00.000-06:00

The older the kids get, the more fun it is to make our own Christmas traditions. Here are a few of the "sweet" ones:

Countdown Kisses: I got this idea two years ago. All you need is saran wrap, curling ribbon, and kisses (we, I mean I, decided on the mint Hershey's kisses this year...more on that further down). We take three kisses (one for each kid) tie it off on both ends to make a little pouch and continue on down 24 more times. Then we hang it up in our living room and each day the kids take turn cutting a pouch off...a sweet reminder of what is coming up. This year, the last two days (for Christmas Eve and Christmas) we put six kisses in each pouch to share with cousins we will be spending time with in Michigan!

Christmas Cookie: We love baking rolled sugar cookies and a few other festive cookies around this time of year. We have already make and decorated cookies in the shapes of stars, Christmas trees, and gingerbread men. In years past, we have also made peanut butter blossoms...but with my guilty obsession this year with the mint kisses I decided to incorporate those instead of the regular chocolate kisses. This time I used a sugar cookie type dough, baked that, and then pressed the mint kiss in to each cookie. I think next time, I will use a chocolate cookie dough for the ultimate guilty pleasure!

Lifesaver Christmas Story Book: Every single one of my childhood Christmas memories includes a Lifesaver Christmas Story Book...and I have passed down the tradition to my kids. I don't know what it is about them...maybe purely just because I had one in my stocking every year as a kid...but they are very special to me...and my kids will get one every year. This year, thanks to my parents, one will be waiting in their stockings Christmas morning at Gammy and Poppy's house!

Fruit snacks...

2010-12-05T14:12:00.001-06:00

I was quite humored the other night while talking to my princess. She began to inform me about a very close friend she has at school. His name is Eric. I began asking questions about her friend and her answers cracked me up. I first asked her what he looked like. She said that he has black hair and brown eyes...and big nostrils that he can fit a fruit snack in. She was pretty impressed by this and began trying to show me with her own nose just how big his nostrils are (and yes, she used the word nostrils). You have to go big to impress my little girl. You can be the fastest, smartest kid in the class...but if you can't fit a fruit snack in your nostril you are out of the running. Way to go, Eric, in my little girl's book you are number one for that fruit snack trick of yours.

Thankful Heart

2010-11-25T04:32:00.001-06:00

If I tried to make a list
of everything I have to be thankful for
I know I could go on for days and days
and then a few days more

I am really undeserving
blessed beyond all measure
my God, my family, friends, and health
some of the things I treasure

So, this morning as I bow my head
and then think throughout the day
I remember that I would be nothing
without the One who lights my way.

They're Outta Here...soon...

2010-11-23T11:41:00.000-06:00

My princess is getting her tonsils and adenoids out...finally. It's been a long time coming. They probably should have come out three years ago. She's the perfect candidate...has every criteria...every single one of them. I took her in to an ENT yesterday and it was really eye opening and made me feel pretty guilty for not pushing harder for this sooner. Her tonsils have not been a good friend to her. They are always enlarged and actually touch eachother in the back of her throat.

I have never had surgery myself and the thought of my princess going under is a little bit scary...even if it's just her tonsils and adenoids. Her surgery date has been set for the middle of December and now the countdown begins. After I got off the phone with the scheduling department this morning, I found myself a little anxious. I went in to my room and had to say to myself out loud, "You love her, God, more than I ever could or ever will." And I know, she will rest well in His hands.

I talked about it all with her last night and she is worried about everything...especially the pain...and how she will be going to sleep. If you could remember to keep my princess in your prayers over the next couple of weeks...that her fears would be calmed, that she would remain healthy, and that the surgery would go great with no complications this Momma would appreciate it.

National Adoption Month

2010-11-19T17:40:00.000-06:00

A little over a year ago, I learned about Reeces Rainbow. I have spent a lot of time looking at these children's faces, praying for them, and reading about the families that are waiting (or have waited) to bring them home. My heart breaks that time is running out for many, many of them. During the months of November and December they are doing a fundraiser where you can go and sponsor a Christmas Angel to help with their adoption costs. Head on over there, pray for them, and possibly choose one (or more) to sponsor.

Christmas Angel Tree TwentyTen

CLICK HERE to Put the Angel Tree Bubble on Your Blog! Thank you!

Three Things Thursday

2010-11-18T08:52:00.000-06:00

- I am a Survivor fanatic...maybe not the worst, but it is my absolute favorite show (Apprentice coming in a close second followed by Amazing Race)and I have been watching since the show first aired. This season, there hasn't been many surprises. Last night, though, things got a bit shaken up and I was so happy to crawl in to bed knowing that Brenda went home. Pathetic I know...but everyone has their little quirks.

- It looks like my hubby is down to working four days a week through the winter now...getting every Friday off. It's been so nice to have him home with us to take the kids to school, be there when they get home, and have family dinner with him there at night. I am so thankful that his employer balances work so that they are able to keep working through the winter. I am looking forward to those nice paychecks again in the Spring/Summer, but we will all enjoy this little break.

- Kait came down with Strep again this week. Looking back through her chart at the doctor's on Monday, it is clear that she needs her tonsils out. We have been dealing with strep, tonsillitis, snoring, and sleep walking long enough. Monday I am taking her to an ENT about getting her tonsils out. It's a bit scary for me (and I haven't even gone in to detail with her about it yet), but I know it will make such a difference in my little girl.

Love

2010-11-17T05:26:00.000-06:00

National Adoption Month : Another Blog

2010-11-15T12:25:00.002-06:00

Another blog that I read almost daily is From the Heart. This extraordinary family has just added a new member...their 4th adoption. If you have a little time, explore their blog and go back through previous posts on their adoptions of their three beautiful toddlers. Pray for them while you read.

National Adoption Month

2010-11-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

November is National Adoption Month. One of my favorite blogs to read is Casa de King. She is doing National Adoption Month posts all month. Head on over and check it out. I love the way she writes, how frank she is about her life with her three adopted kiddos, and the great attitude she has. Refreshing!

New to my playlist...

2010-11-09T15:58:00.002-06:00

Only Eight Paychecks

2010-11-08T12:42:00.001-06:00

Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been a little over 4 months since my husband went back to work. Other days, it seems so fresh. There are still days when I get a call from him some time other than on his lunch break and my heart sinks wondering if it's happening again. There are times in conversation, if he's had a bad day at work, that I express my worry about him losing his job. I am sure it's in the back (or some days, the front) of his mind too...it's changed us...we no longer take his employment for granted.

To think about it happening again exhausts me. To think about walking that path again makes me cry out to God throughout the day...thanking Him for His provision, but praying for continued rest.

I guess I imagined my husband would go back to work and things would come together more quickly for us. The evidence is still all around us: debt, an almost non existent savings, projects that are still on hold, hopes and dreams that we have yet to act upon. I forget that it's just been four months...that we have just been through two years of hard stuff...that this is still the time to heal....time to rest...to keep gathering up the pieces and just walk on. Yesterday, my God whispered this to my heart. He reminded me to slow down...that we've only had eight paychecks. We've had eight paychecks! My heart is thankful.

Smile

2010-11-06T04:23:00.002-05:00

Just to see you smile

I'd do anything that you wanted me to

When all is said and done

I'd never count the cost

It's worth all that's lost

Just to see you smile

I love my middle man...and his smile.

Another Year

2010-11-05T20:03:00.001-05:00

Four years ago, on November 5th, 2006, a positive two weeks before became heartache as I sat in church...instantly I knew. I was cramping. I was filled with worry. I couldn't get home fast enough. I was losing my baby...and there was absolutely nothing I could do.

I slept most of the afternoon away, curled up in a ball, hoping that somehow it would cradle her enough that she would be safe and all would be well. Later on that evening, I knew she was gone.

The miracle of life all the more real to me...the guilt burned deep. Just two weeks before, I saw those two lines. This wasn't "our" plan. We already had our perfect family of four. One more would just complicate things.

It didn't take long for me to come around. In a couple of days I was planning, excited, dreaming. And then the day came. Dreams crushed...and I felt guilty for my initial reaction...like somehow in those first few days, I sealed her fate.

We chose to name her : Madelyn, meaning magnificent. Magnificent for what she taught us, what she meant in the short little time she lived inside of me. Without her, we wouldn't have surrendered our will to His. We wouldn't have our little man. I wouldn't have to same view on what a miracle all my children are...every child is.

Shortly after we lost her, I had a dream about what she looked like. She was gorgeous. She looked like Landon. She was okay. She was safe. She is waiting for us.

Another year has gone by...another day to reflect more than most...and be thankful.

Giant Leaps

2010-11-04T09:29:00.000-05:00

The first few weeks of kindergarten were painful ones...both for my middle man and also for his Momma. There were many tears, moments of kneeling with him in the hallway of the school reassuring him it would be okay, and a teary phone call home. It broke my heart. It made me question our decision to start him in school this year instead of waiting until next year. I prayed, and prayed for my middle man.

Last night we had his very first parent/teacher conference. I was excited to hear what his teacher had to say...figuring it would be positive. I was almost certain it would be yesterday afternoon when he came home with a note from his teacher saying, "Landon is THE smartest, sweetest little boy..." Nothing could prepare me for what I would hear that night though.

I knew that Landon had made HUGE progress in every area since starting school. The glimpse in to my son at school from his teacher made me beam with pride. Often I underestimate him because although he is a wild man, he is my quietest child. He is scoring above average on everything! She even said that they are seeing him gradually come out of his shell and volunteer to get up in front of his class and read. The little time we had with his teacher made for one proud Momma and Daddy.

I came home and told him all about our time with his teacher. I told him how proud of him I am. I made a comment to him about how on his report card it had "100!!" in the blank where is says how high the child can count. He said, "I could have counted to 200, but my teacher stopped me." I guess there is a little overachiever in all of us here in our household.

What We've Been Reading....

2010-11-03T09:31:00.000-05:00

It's been amazing to me to watch my kids do so well in the dual language program at their school. Kaitlyn is especially excited about it. This past Monday, I got a few more English/Spanish books to read to the kids. I think my days of butchering the Spanish books are over. Even though Kaitlyn can not understand all of what she reads, she is reading incredibly well in Spanish. So, yesterday, we all sat down and I read the book to them in English and Kaitlyn read the book in Spanish. I can't believe how she has soaked up the "rules" of the language...what letters together make what sound...and getting the basic idea of what is written just by the little that she knows. I know that the spoken will come way after their understanding but I am so happy with our choice to put them both in to the program.

A "Badge of Honor"

2010-10-28T08:42:00.000-05:00

This being a Mommy thing can be exhausting. Most the time, I do a pretty good job just rolling with the punches...taking life as it comes...keeping a smile on and laughing when things get tough. But, there is just something about when my kids are sick one right after the other that can get me kinda down...make me want to lock myself in the closet and cry for a bit. Yesterday was one of those days.

I thought everyone was on the mend. Then, in the afternoon, I hear more vomit hitting the floor. Now, I was thankful it wasn't outside in the wind...but I don't know, it's kinda a toss up...on my carpet or outside blowing in the wind...think I will take the wind. At least clean up for that only entails stripping down and throwing everything in the washing machine. There's just something I hate about cleaning throw up off my carpet. At least it wasn't my couch this time. The guilty party: my princess.

This is the part in the story when I look up at the ceiling and begin to throw a pity party for myself...which at the time seemed pretty reasonable. I saw, in my mind, what was to come...it meant clean up in hallway one scrubbing chuncks out of the carpet...it meant more puking where I was to try my hardest not to throw up myself while rubbing my princess' back and cleaning off her mouth. It meant that there was possibly more to come. My job was about to become a little harder and I was already tired.

And then in steps my middle man who is rough and tumble and wild...but deep down he is so sensitive and sweet...and loves his Momma. He had taken a heart that I cut out for him and colored it. He brought it to me and said that it was for me to wear on the front of my shirt because of how good I did taking care of him when he was sick and because he loves me so much. And then, this is the part of the story where I packed up my pity party...and stopped my selfish thinking. This is the part of the story where I stood up and let him tape my "badge of honor" on my shirt, while his stood back and admired how good it looked on me...and asked if he could take a picture...and I let him:

This job is a hard one...but the rewards are better than any bonus...and monetary reward (even though I could really go for some extra cash to fly me away to somewhere warmer right now). I wore my heart until after dinner and then my middle man had the idea of taping it on my bedroom door...and that's exactly what I did.

My princess is fine this morning...she's on her fourth piece of toast as I type. She a little famished after the night she had so if she wants to eat a whole loaf...hey, today it's fine by me. And if anyone else gets sick around here, I think I will put my heart back on as a reminder.

Strep

2010-10-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

Strep has made it's way to our house. It paid a visit to my princess last week. She's a great little sick person...high pain tolerance, hardly any complaining. She takes it like a pro and is so easy to take care of. Today, was my middle man's turn.

He went to school. He complained a little when he woke up, but said after drinking some hot chocolate that his throat didn't hurt at all anymore. I just figured he slept with his mouth open and he was a little dry. Well, I got a call around 11:30 that he was running a fever and was complaining of his throat hurting. Poor baby. I sped the one and a half miles to school to get to him as soon as I could. I called the doctor (and called in to work) when we got home and got an appointment.

We got to the doctor and he started getting really whiny. It was a short walk so I told him I would carry him. We got two cars away from our car when it happened.

Apparently because of some low pressure hanging over our region (or whatever the weather people said this morning) it is incredibly windy today...like hurricane windy...like hang on to your children outside windy. Which would mean that throwing up in this wind would be a terrible thing...but that's exactly what my middle man did. I had enough time to throw him off of me...I mean set him down ever so gently...and the puking started...and the wind took it in every direction. I had my littlest man with us and he was screaming and ran for cover trying to avoid being covered in vomit like his brother and Mommy.

I don't do well with throw up. When someone is throwing up it makes me want to throw up. I see it a lot at work and it's all I can do to hold it together until I can leave the room...and then I gag down the hall all the way back to the lab. So, today, when the vomit tornado was hitting me from all directions it was almost more than I could take. Landon and I had puke on our coats, hands, jeans, faces, and in our crocs...the squishing in between my toes was the worst. I just stood there, rubbing my middle man's back while he heaved and heaved. Three kind strangers in the parking lot went and got napkins from their cars and one patted my back and said she hoped my day got better.

We walked in to the office, covered in puke with enough time to spare that we were able to get cleaned up in the bathroom before checking in. We did the best we could and made our way to the front desk still smelling of vomit. All I could do was look back at my pale, sickly little man and laugh to myself. Man, I love that kid...even if he did throw up all over me today. And because of my youngest, the doctor heard all about "Wandon frowing up in yours parking lot."

Beaming

2010-10-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

Collin and I head to our local library for story time every Monday. Today, my little man wanted to dress up. So, he went to story time as a cowboy. Most weeks, he sits through the three books just so that he can do the craft and play with the trains at the end. Story time today was a bit different...which might have been because they started off with his favorite game : The matching game. I was relieved because maybe I will now get the day off. He rushed right up there and got his game face on...and ended up winning...I was so proud that all of the hours of practice with Mommy had paid off. He actively participated the rest of the time and even started conversation about his alien pumpkin that his Daddy carved for him over the weekend. When asked what he put inside his pumpkin after it was carved he enthusiastically yelled, "FIRE!". That's my boy. We walked out of there with his craft, a take home work sheet, and a little pumpkin that his teacher gave to him. He has informed me that it's sleeping in his bed with him for nap. We love our library program!

Quiet Time

2010-10-22T10:34:00.000-05:00

I don't consider us to be a loud family. But, aparently, my middle child needed some quiet time away the other day. I couldn't find him. I noticed our bathroom light was on. I snuck in, got up on the counter with my camera in hand, and took this picture of him all cozy in our (dirty) shower...coloring away. I should try this some time.

I "heart" Jewel

2010-10-21T13:24:00.000-05:00

I am aspiring to be crazy. Thursdays have become my new shopping day all because that's when the new sale week begins at Jewel. I haven't been blogging about the deals I have been getting the past couple of weeks but today I scored big. I felt like I was stealing as I walked out of the store with a cart load full that I got for (drum roll please)...$35.20. My receipt said that my savings was $86.89. I *loved* seeing that! So here's what I got:

Thanks to my sister-in-law and a site she gave me...and a tad bit of thought on my own...I have been doing pretty good with our grocery budget. And my make shift pantry is stuffed.

Another 26.2 miles...

2010-10-20T06:16:00.001-05:00

...I rounded the corner, took out my headphones and soaked in the crowd cheering. I gave it my all in that last quarter of a mile. I crossed the finish line with my hands in the air and my head bowed in thanks...fighting back tears. I didn't start crying until I walked up to have my medal placed around my neck and the lady said, "This is what you have been waiting for". Yep, it really was...it meant that I had crossed that finish line. It meant that I conquered another 26.2 miles....

This past Sunday, I ran my second full marathon. You can read about it over at Running My Victory Lap.

To the Birthday Girl...

2010-10-15T05:54:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time
Actually upon this day
just 27 years ago
my world became a little brighter
I was given a gift
Actually my parents were
given a gift
that I got to partake in
I, being 18 months old, didn't even know
what blessing had been
sent down to me
oblivious to just how special
that day was and what meaning
it would have in my little life
a bond, a trust, a love
a forever friend
my first friend
someone to turn to when
the world seemed so cold
when my heart was broken
when hope was lost
an ear, a shoulder, a hand to hold
someone to run beside
to stand beside
in comfortable silence
to pinky swear and
share even the darkest of secrets
to double dog dare
and laugh hard in the darkness with
to create memory upon memory
memories so many
that I don't recall many
without her growing up
it was on this day
twenty seven years
ago
I was blessed with a friend
the truest form
one I call
my sister.

Happy Birthday my Calist. Though miles upon miles separate us, are hearts are forever bonded. It's unthinkable to imagine life without you. Thank you for all you have been and what you continue to be in my life. My heart aches to be together with you...to watch our kids grow up together...to spend afternoons together...to call eachother up just for the purpose of going for a run together...but, I cherish the times we do get to spend together. I am proud of the woman you have become, the mother and wife you are...what a strong person and an inspiration you are to me. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and may you be blessed more this year than you have been so far. I don't say it enough : I love you.

Kind and Loving

2010-10-07T03:42:00.001-05:00

I have the privilege of heading up and teaching our Sunday preschool program at our church. I currently have my youngest in my class which is a blessing, but can also be a distraction. Sometimes he doesn't listen so well to Mama when he is with me.

Each week, I incorporate a verse for the 3-5 year olds to learn. A lot of times I wonder if what I teach sinks in with what little time I have with them. Our verse for this past Sunday was "Be kind and loving to each other" - Eph 4:32. On Tuesday, I got proof that, in fact, it had with my little guy.

I had just gotten home from picking up my oldest two from school. It takes about a half hour for us to get settled in and get used to all being together again. The boys were having a tough time getting along...Collin wanted to be the boss and Landon wasn't having it. Some words were said between the two of them and then it got physical.

Collin came crying to me and said, "Wandon isn't being kind and loving to each other." I tried to be serious and not beam with pride that it had actually sunk it and he was actually applying the verse to everyday life. I dealt with the situation and used that verse to reiterate to them the rules of our house...which got me thinking that I need to do more of this will all of my children...use scripture more to teach my kids instead of because "Mom says so" or "Dad says so" or "because you treat others how you want to be treated".

And more often than not, I end up learning a lot in the end too.

Pumpkin in a Dixie Cup

2010-10-06T12:20:00.004-05:00

Kaitlyn came home from school yesterday raving about a pumpkin dessert that they made in class. I was asking her about it and she was able to rattle off all the ingredients but now how much of each...until she told me that the recipe was in her backpack. It was good timing since I just found that pumpkin yesterday.

I read the list of ingredients and how much and we had everything we needed. Since it's mixed in a freezer bag, Kaitlyn did everything but putting it in the dixie cups. It was such a hit (with the kiddos and Mommy) that I thought I would share:

Ingredients:

1 gallon freezer bag

2 2/3 cup milk

2 little packs of instant vanilla pudding

15 oz pure canned pumpkin

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ginger

graham cracker crumbs

25 dixie cups

1 can whipped cream

Combine milk and instand pudding in freezer bag and mix well. Add the pumpkin and spices and kneed and mix well. Place 1/2 to 1 T of graham cracker crumbs in bottom of cups. Cut corner of freezer bag and squeeze filling in to cups. Top with whipped cream and enjoy!

It's the perfect snack size and gives you just enough sweetness.

100% Pure Pumpkin

2010-10-05T11:44:00.003-05:00

I hit the jackpot today. I have been searching and searching for pumpkin on the shelves of my local stores...with no luck...until today. I really almost did the happy dance in the aisle and then my mind started racing with the endless possibilities: pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin roll, icebox pumpkin dessert... things that I haven't had in over a year because of the terrible pumpkin crop last year. Now, my first instinct was to buy up every single can of pumpkin on the shelf like it was bottled water before Y2K or something. But, I couldn't very well justify using up our grocery money for the week on canned pumpkin. So, I bought four cans...four big cans...one of which is spoken for this weekend...Pumpkin Pie!!!

Marathon # 2

2010-10-03T15:25:00.003-05:00

Exactly two weeks until my second marathon! I am beyond excited. Below is a post from my running blog : Running My Victory Lap:

It's oddly familiar
painfully familiar
It creeps up on you
when the miles add up
Something I never thought I would miss
but now welcome as a lost friend
cramping, stiffness, shooting pain
pain from a long run
a run well run
oh how I have missed you.

A day with my little man...

2010-09-30T08:58:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I went with my little man on his first field trip...one year ago I took the same trip with my princess...which made me somewhat of a pro. He had fun and it was nice to see him with his little friends and also spend some special time with him.

My Weekend Marathon Relay

2010-09-27T12:24:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, I went to Iowa and ran the QC Marathon Relay with a few of my running friends. You can read about it here.

En Espanol

2010-09-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I headed to our local library to check out a few books for the kids in Spanish. I figured I need to start doing this. I didn't want to get in over our heads since I know very little...probably less than Kaitlyn does now. I found a couple books in Spanish that we have in English at home. This was a favorite in our house for a while...a huge hit with the kids. So, I read through it a few times with Collin before the older ones got home so I wouldn't sound like I was fumbling over every word. When they came home, I surprised them with this one and four others. We had a great time!

And, Landon had his first tear free day yesterday!! He said, "Mommy, I actually (we use that word a lot in our house) talked to my teacher today!" I said, "That's great Landon! What did you say to her?" He replied, "I said, 'Hi, Mrs. P'." I chuckled a bit inside...bless his heart.

Tres Semanas

2010-09-22T08:56:00.006-05:00

Last year, we were introduced to the dual language program in our school district. I went for an observation one morning and I was nothing but impressed. It was decided that we wanted our kids to be a part of this...we wanted this opportunity for them. Not only to be fluent in another language, but what doors being fluent in Spanish would open for them...to be able to put "bilingual" on a resume or job application.

We are in week three of school. Kaitlyn is adjusting very well. She is soaking up the Spanish that they are teaching her. It was so neat to see one of the assignments she brought home...not only is she a little artist, she had written out what everything was in Spanish. She loves both of her teachers and has made many new little friends...who she already wants to invite over to play. She has discovered that a couple of her friends already know Spanish and she is amazed that they can speak right back to her Spanish teacher in class. It's cute hearing her talk about what goes on in there. She told Landon that if he doesn't know what to do, "Just ask one of his friends that speaks Mexican for help."

Landon, on the other hand, is having a tough time. I think he would be just fine if he stayed with one teacher all day, but he has a difficult time when he has to switch to his Spanish class. He says he doesn't like it over there because (I quote), "I can't understand because they don't speak Eng-a-lish". It's a total immersion idea and I think as the weeks go on, he will do much better. This is just a big change for him. Not only is he in his first year of school, it's full day kindergarten, and he is in the dual language program. I am proud of him. I knew it would be hard but he's trying. He loves music and gym. I have been informed by my little man that he has made seven friends...and only two of which are boys....one who's name in Falkin and the other Diego. It will take time and I just have to keep praying that one of these days we will have a tear free day at school.

P.S. - I am hoping to be able to join the parents class : Spanish as a second language. Not only would it be beneficial for me at work, it will also help in the future when my bilingual kids are conspiring against me.