Avoided

I bought it before Kaitlyn was even born. We were living in a one bedroom apartment with a den and the walls were closing in on us. I bought it and filled it up with baby girl clothes. It was for organization.

It survived a move and we've had it in one of the kids' closets ever since.

Recently it has been used for something other than organization.

Kaitlyn started kindergarten and the war began. She is a sweatshirt and sweatpants kinda girl...either that or skirts and dresses all the time. She hates jeans with a passion. Every morning, I would fight with my 5 year old about what she would be wearing for the day (and they say it gets worse when they are teenagers!). It would put her behind in the morning routine and she would head out the door with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. I would feel terrible for her. It's no way to start a morning.

I have seen them before in magazines. When I was thinking about how to make the morning smoother, they popped in to my mind. I couldn't buy one so I made one myself out of the hanging organizer that I had purchased before this little girl was born. Little did I know, it would be used years later, when we would fight about what this little girl would wear.

I took the hanging organizer and labeled 5 pockets with the weekdays. Now, every Sunday, I pick out the weeks outfits for her...even down to what underwear she will wear that day. When she gets up in the morning, she knows to go to the day, take out that outfit, and put it on. We have come to an agreement that she can wear sweatpants a couple days out of the week. We haven't had an argument since.

Christmas Cards for Noah

I am reminded everyday just how fortunate Dan and I are to have three healthy children. I hope all of you will take the opportunity to be a part of this...I checked it out on snopes and it is legit.

Noah is a five year old boy that was diagnosed with stage IV neuroblastoma in 2007, after being in remission, they found out that the cancer is back and has spread. He is not expected to make in to Christmas and his Mom is asking that Christmas come a little early for him. All cards can be sent to:

Noah Biorkman

1141 Fountain View Circle

South Lyon, MI 48178

Take this chance to get in to the Christmas spirit a little early and get your kids involved too!

Wordless Wednesday (Family Twister Night)

Amazed at Fourteen

This past month has been nothing short of A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Fourteen months and I feel renewed.

When we lost our unemployment back in August, I thought it was hopeless...God had bigger plans.

He carried us through one month and I breathed a sigh of relief.

We walked with him through another month and the lights went on.

He is going to take care of us no matter what.

I thought living on 40% of what Dan was making when he was working was hard! These past two months have forced me to really believe God and claim His promises. Never in my life have a lived this way. We had no back up plan, no other choice. It was up to God to provide for us and I looked to Him for my Daily Bread. I have seen amazing things. Our freezer is full, my kids have closets full of winter clothes, and we have not been late on one single bill. God is Good seems like an understatement right now.

There are changes going on here...exciting ones!

We got a letter from UE two weeks ago saying that our benefits would be reinstated pending 30 days that they have to contest the decision. We expected to have to wait the 30 days to see anything deposited into our account. Well, that's not the case! We are praising God for the relief that he has brought to us...even if we lose it in the next two weeks.

I am still loving my job. I think back to how miserable I was where I was working last year (I was unloading trucks at walmart...you gotta do, what you gotta do). What a difference! I have a great boss and I work with wonderful people. I am currently taking steps to earn the title of Phlebotomy Tech 2, which will earn me a little raise. I am so thankful that God equipped me with the skills and training several years ago for such a time as this and I count it a blessing to be able to provide for my family.

The biggest change that is going to be taking place around here is Dan going back to school. I am so excited for him! We have thrown the idea around for a while and feel like we have "wasted" a year. It would be a shame for another year to pass and again be left with the "I wish we would have done this". He is waiting to hear on the grants he applied for. If he is approved, he will be taking a full load...if not, he will have to do it a little chunk at a time.

Amazing pretty much sums up this past month. A year ago, I complained about having to live on 40% of what Dan was making. After two months of living without that UE check, 40% is a blessing!

I have come to terms with the fact that life two years ago is something that we cannot go back to. It was a painful realization, but I had to deal with it. I was holding out for life to get back to that comfortable "normal"...back to the life I used to have where Dan went off to work and made good money and I stayed home with the kids...back to the life where I didn't feel a twinge of jealousy when people talked about going here, doing this, buying this. In the beginning, I could hope that we were going to be in this situation for just a short time...I could hope for my "before normal" and be happy for others when their husbands got a big bonus or even just got a job....when people were able to go on vacation or even just go out on a date. The months went by, and I could pretend to be happy, but I would get home or get off the phone and just sob. My heart ached to be able to just live a day without all this stress heavy on my back.

Then, after we lost our unemployment, God really spoke to me and to my heart revealing some pretty ugly things. I heard him say, "My child, are you lacking anything?" With the bitter tears running down my face, I thought and was forced to answer no. "Search yourself, search your heart." I found a prideful, jealous person that was still holding on to the past. Those feelings still creep up but I have learned to ask myself, "Are you taken care of? Are you lacking anything?" and the answer is always no.

Despite of me, God continues to bless us beyond what we could have ever imagined. The details of my everyday life that God has planned out and ordained before time amaze me.

I am amazed.

Halloween 2009

Thanks to hand-me-down costumes for the boys, $5 kitty ears for Kate, and some face paints the kids had a blast this year for Halloween!

Checking themselves out in the mirror.

Kaitlyn didn't want Macy to feel left out and also wanted her in the Halloween spirit. So, she decided the old girl needed to get dressed up. Macy was a good sport.

Wanna Be Mistaken...

Pretty Cat

Isn't this the cutest cat you've ever seen? Kaitlyn has her Halloween parade tomorrow at school so we did a little dress rehersal today. All we did was go out and buy the ears, tail, and bow tie for $5 at Walmart and there we go. She loves it!

A Blessing in Disguise

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

~Romans 8:28

It was 1 AM on October 27th. I was working at Walmart and had just completed my shift. I was exhausted from hardly any sleep the night before and a 10K race follow by work on the 26th. I had that foggy feeling in my head as I headed to the van. I sat there for a minute to let the van warm up. Put it in reverse, backed up, and then put it in drive. The rest is history. I don't remember much except for wondering why all of a sudden I was pushing the gas and the van wouldn't go anywhere...and the smoke. Where was all the smoke coming from?

Well, I had hit a light pole...you know, the ones that are buried in the concrete cylinder...in the parking lot of Walmart. The light is still leaning a bit to this day...I feel a sense of pride whenever I see it. I totalled the van...totalled it. My husband was jobless and I crashed the only vehicle that I was able to drive (his car is a stick shift).

The story gets better. I wasn't all there and my cell was dead. So, I had the bright idea of running home to let Dan know I had done. It was the fastest mile I had done in a while. I got home and knocked on the door. My husband informed me that I had just left the scene of an accident...I guess you aren't supposed to do that kind of thing. It was a wild night, like I said, most of it was a blur. But, one thing I do remember is how Dan made me feel. He wasn't upset with me at all. His display of love and acceptance was amazing that night. He made me feel safe.

Crashing the van was a blessing in disguise. I questioned why this, why now. God works everything for good. It was a car payment we couldn't afford...a money pit with problems. The six months we went without a second car and crammed (all 5 of us) in Dan's Aveo taught me to be thankful for what we have and that we can do without a lot...more than we think. It also was an eye opener as far as taking out loans for vehicles goes. It forced me to do something I never thought possible, I learned to drive a stick. God is so good and six months later, after saving, saving, saving, we paid cash for a van.

So, today is a reminder. Sometimes we don't understand...and maybe we never will. But, God's ways are higher than our ways. I think I just might take a drive and lay a wreath by the light post in memory of good old Bessie and an accident that I will never live down or hear the end of it. I am able to laugh at myself and chuckle when I think of the kids, months after, telling me to be careful and not crash the only car we had at the time...like I was a bad driver or something.

Pumpkin Fest 10K 2009

Some give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before.

~Herodotus

This race started with a goal. I have never run a 10K in under 1 hour and I set a goal that this would be the one. Since last June, my 10K times have consistently gone down every time I have run one. I came so close to getting under an hour in the Milk Days Run this past June. I was upset to see that I missed it by less than a minute.

This morning I felt great. I set a goal to keep my pace under 9:30/mile. It always takes me a mile to warm up, so my first mile is usually my slowest....10:30 feels more comfortable to me during my first mile. Well, I ran my first mile in 9:15 and the rest pretty much followed suit.

The last mile was painful. I played a few mind games with myself, going back and forth between, "You've got to stop and walk." and "No, you will not stop and walk! This is your last race and you are not a quitter!" I pushed through it, felt as if I was having an anxiety attack, and passed several during my sprint across the finish line.

My official time: 58:49 (I knocked 5 minutes off of my time for this course last year)!!! I am very pleased with it...yet saddened that this will be the last race of the year. It's been a wonderful season.

Song for Saturday

I am really excited about running a 10K tomorrow. This is on my 10K playlist:

A boy and his toy...

I work with a great bunch of people. At the beginning of this week, a co-worker of mine asked if my boys would like a couple of toys to play on...for free! All three kids have loved them. Yesterday they rode them until they died...and then rode them til they died again.

Tuesday's Time to Rewind

One year ago, I was reading From Fear to Love:

October 29th, 2008

Learning What's Worth Living For (pg 22)

Our circumstances forced us to evaluate what as most important in life and what was worth living for. We reminded ourselves the God does stand as a sentinel at the gate of our lives, knowing exactly what comes in. We grew to realize that God is more concerned about or relationship with Him than all of our material and earthly pleasures. He came to bring us life in all its fullness. He allowed everything we had placed security in to be stripped away, so that we would find security in a way no earthly pleasure could satisfy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2-3

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When I posted the paragraph above almost one year ago, it was real to me...it's even more real to me now.

One year later, I find myself satisfied...not in material things, but in God alone.

There have been times, when this road that God has chosen for us has been anything but joyous...joy, at times, has felt like it's gone forever. I am so glad that God never gives up on his children, because it's through trials like these that God, if you are willing to follow, leads you to the deepest joy you will every know amidst the deepest pain. God is good like that.

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

~Psalms 34:8